White Slab Palace
77 Delancey St., Lower East Side, NY
Let’s get down to it. If White Slab stuck purely to booze, the Infatuation would have no beef here. It’s actually a reasonable, albeit expensive bar. Any and all complaints stem from their culinary attempts. Upon entering White Slab we were told that all the dining tables were “reserved” even though the place was empty. Cut to an hour and a half later when our food finally showed up (note, they brought out apps and entrees at the same time), those tables were all still empty. We were forced to choose between the bar and their “lounge area.” We chose the lounge – two battered, mildew infested chairs and a couch, all surrounding a low bench posing as a table. The couch is reminiscent of one you may find in any Salvation Army/college dormitory/frat house/you get the point. Makes you really want to dig into their raw bar, right? It’s pretty curious that half the Slab’s overpriced, cash only, Scandinavian flavored menu is fish. Oysters are not exactly what I want to be eating in a restaurant with dirtier bathrooms than Lit Lounge.
Food Rundown:
Spicy Lamb Pelmeni
The clueless waitress suggested this as one of their signature dishes that “everyone loves”. I highly doubt that. These are lamb dumplings (I think) with a layer of cabbage on top that came across like a slimy dumpling soup both nasty and inedible.
Chicken Kyckling Klubbor
Sure this is a nice sized portion of roast chicken, yet it’s a sorry excuse for human food. The kale that comes with it might just be the saltiest thing you’ll ever eat. You’d be better off digging through the garbage outside KFC.
Good World Burger White Slab Style
This was the saddest moment for me because I figure at least the burger will be solid. I remember the Good World burger being quite good; this one not so much. Then I remembered that the only times I ever ate at Good World were when I was 22 years old and incredibly wasted.
House Smoked Shrimp
As stated previously, White Slab really is not an appetizing environment, and was the only dish from the sea we could stomach ordering. Again, a generous serving of food, but peeling every one of these little guys was nowhere near worth the reward.
