A “casual latino” eatery, Macondo claims its food is “Freestyle Latin”. I don’t like the word freestyle. It’s usually just a different way of saying “I’m making shit up”. It also makes me think of freestyle walking (not a sport), and every moron in college who owned an Eminem album and freestyle rapped at parties. Needless to say, I was not encouraged by their choice of words on the website. Luckily, Macondo was a good experience, minus a few stumbles. The restaurant is huge and lively on most nights, with a ton of big tables and some bar seats in front of the open kitchen. On my most recent visit (a slow night), I watched the kitchen staff spend twenty minutes experimenting with a blow torch on various dishes, only one of which was a brulee. Freestyle man. Nobody knows what’s going to happen next!

Stick to the tacos, the bocadillos, and pretty much anything with pork or beef and you’re in business. I am going to go out on a limb and guess you’ve never eaten Mofongo, but you need to. A few things on the menu were disappointing, but it’s a big menu with lots to choose from and they mix up some solid drinks which helps the cause. Overall we’re still partial to Mercadito Cantina and Yerba Buena for South of the Border cravings in the area, but we’ll happily hit Macondo for a quick one next time we’re in the neigborhood for a show.

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A Voce just received a Michelin Star which, in case you were wondering, is a huge deal in the restaurant world. A friend recently said to me, “one day, you will need to explain to me the connection between tires and good food.” I can do no such thing. What I can do is tell you that A Voce turns out some incredible Italian. It’s definitely fine dining, it will definitely hit you hard in the wallet, and it’s definitely full of suits from the New York Life building next door, but no matter – the food coming out of that kitchen is amazing. The vibe is upscale modern, and while we were blown away by the service and the food, the music is atrocious. Smooth jazz permeates the room and makes you suddenly feel like you’re eating ravioli in John Tesh’s living room. Someone needs to sort that out ASAP. We would be happy to make suggestions. Otherwise, A Voce is firing on all cylinders. Our waiter made excellent recommendations and from appetizer to entree, most everything on the menu is phenomenal. We recommend any and all of the homemade pastas, and the roasted trumpet mushroom appetizer is straight-up unbelievable. This is another one of those spots best saved for special occasions, or any time you feel the need to drop some chang on a serious meal.

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Does it get any worse than Heartland Brewery? They give Hard Rock Cafe a run for their money. Average food, bad burgers, a cookie cutter crowd and the single nastiest exhaust vent I’ve ever experienced. Our office is unfortunately situated across the street from the Heartland on 51st St. and 6th Ave., which forces a walk right through that gag-inducing breeze every day. It’s just not right.

With our ingrained feeling of revulsion towards anything Heartland related, you can imagine how shocked we were to find out from a trusted co-worker that Heartland’s new burger joint, HB Burger was not only worth checking out, but home to a real quality burger.

Damn, we’re impressed HB Burger. Although the decor is typical Heartland style and your fries are still average at best, your burger is as fine as Alyssa Milano. Congrats. You’re now in our regular lunch rotation. Bonus points for serving your burgers with a very solid pickle spear.

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A recent road trip to Citrus reminded me why I don’t ever go to the UWS to eat. Of course there are better restaurants on the UWS than Citrus, but it’s a perfect representation of everything that’s wrong with restaurants in this area. Citrus has been a neighborhood staple for years now; the place is overflowing with people 24/7. The space is huge, loud and as cheesy as it gets. Fluorescent lights illuminate the walls while the room comes fully equipped with a stone waterfall and enough plants to pass for a Rainforest Cafe. There is nothing NYC about this place; you might as well be eating in Texas. While the food isn’t terrible, their Latin meets Asian menu is just too far-fetched. If they tried this downtown, the restaurant wouldn’t last more than a year. Do you really want chips and salsa before your sushi? That’s just strange. Also, if I’m paying $15 for a margarita, I expect that drink to be labor intensive, not just some tequila tossed in with a pre-made mixture.

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We have covered a lot of ground in the East Village, and, on the surface, The Redhead looks like one of those places that was left behind as the neighborhood gentrified. It’s a small, nondescript bar that is not (yet) on the hit list of the post-college East Village crowd. What they don’t know (yet) is that the food coming out of The Redhead’s kitchen is some of the best in the neighborhood. The off-the-hook fried chicken has been drawing a lot of press lately, and the rest of the menu is shockingly good – the absolute opposite of what you would expect to get from a dark little East Village bar. It will be interesting to see how the regulars deal with the inevitable increase in traffic. We definitely noticed some dates going down in the room, and it’s probably a good place for that. Just be aware that it’s a relatively quiet place, which will no doubt make those awkward silences extra painful.

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