If you read our reviews or follow us on Twitter, you know that food, music, and sports are on an equal playing field. In general, we loath most sports bars. We have no time for tasteless places that think merely having the game on is enough reason to exist. It’s not hard to put together and semi-classy place with excessive flat screens and reasonable pub grub, so why aren’t there more quality sports bars in the city with the world’s most dedicated sports fans?
New York Ranger/Vogue Magazine intern heartthrob Sean Avery must have thought he was coming to the rescue when he opened his own upscale spot in Tribeca, an area in dire need of a good sports haven. Don’t get me wrong, the place is dope. With a vintage locker room vibe, walls filled with memorabilia of local sports heroes like Joe Namath, Lawrence Taylor, and Dave DeBusschere, comfy leather booths and cocktail table video games, Warren 77 certainly could be an Infatuation hangout.
Unfortunately, Avery opened this “sports bar” with the guys famous for making Beatrice Inn the hottest coke den for gossip girls citywide. Yeah sure, rolling into your local sports bar and finding blondes in heels lining the bar is cool … for about 60 seconds. Until they start yapping way too loud and asking you to explain the game of baseball to them.
If you’re into blow, don’t care about watching a game, like shitty bar food, and are looking to get laid, jack our ranking up three whole points – this place is for you. If not, avoid this place like the plague. For a sports bar, screens are limited, the layout does not accommodate big crowds (exactly what Warren 77 attracts on game night), and the back area is worse than the 4 train to Yankee Stadium at 6:30 on game day. So much for the whole “the space is dope” thing.
Food Rundown:
Wings
Presentation definitely isn’t the problem at Warren 77 – they’ve got that down. These wings looked (and smelled) great coming out of the kitchen, glistening in shimmering orange buffalo sauce. Jokes on us, that’s for sure. The chicken was undercooked resulting in a slimy, rubbery wing. Plus, the skin was grossly thick.
Burger
A complete disaster, we couldn’t even get through half of this dry piece of shit drowning in bun. I read an interview where Sean Avery says his favorite thing on the menu is the burger. Is he Canadian? Jesus dude, time to hit up Bill’s Bar & Burger stat.
Burger Sliders
See burger, but even worse. These were like golf balls of dry beef with zero flavor and a hell of a lot of bun (not the good kind).
Onion Rings
The saving grace of the whole meal, these rings were huge, crispy, awesome and delicious. If you wind up here, order this.
Mac & Cheese
What’s got more flavor than Warren 77’s “famous” mac & cheese? The .19 cent box of powder mac & cheese I used to eat in college. The only difference is in college I was too drunk most of the time to notice I was actually eating cardboard. Now that I’m all grown up, cardboard mac & cheese can’t escape me. Mac & cheese fail.
Grilled Cheese Soldiers w/Tomato Soup
The grilled cheese lacked real cheese flavor as described on the menu. It was a tad better than the atrocious mac & cheese, but that’s not saying much. The tomato soup was very well seasoned and a pleasant surprise compared to the rest of the disappointments. The dippage of the grilled cheese into the tomato was nice enough, but again, some cheddar flavor shining through would’ve been nice.
Steak Sandwich
This steak sandwich is just straight lazy. Yay, let’s toss an overcooked piece of skirt steak, whole, on a roll and call it a day. The mozzarella, au jus, and ciabatta made for a tasty combo that was spoiled by the nasty, chewy steak.
Caesar Salad
A straight shot; obligatory shaved parmesan and croutons, tasty but not too sardine-y dressing, overall nicely done, but not special.
