‘inoteca

323 3rd Avenue, Murray Hill, NY

3.5

map & more

Neighborhood
Murray Hill

Cuisine
Italian

Nearby
Gramercy Theatre

212-683-3035

Official Website

By Chris Stang
January 7, 2010

There are a few ‘inoteca outposts, so let us begin by saying this particular review is of “‘inoteca Vino, Cucina e Liquori Bar”. I’m already mad that I had to type all of that. This is a small Italian wine bar and restaurant in the middle of Murray Hill. Now, there are plenty of people who want to claim this place is in Gramercy, but I’m sorry, if you’re within walking distance of a bar called “The Hill” and half of your customers are under the age of 24, you’re in f**king Murray Hill. This little wine bar is a popular date spot for people who live in the area, and who apparently also have terrible taste. Please, whatever you do, do not bring a date here. Instead click First/Early in the Game Dates or Date Night and choose an Infatuation approved establishment. We promise you’ll have a better night.

I’ll try and keep this simple. This place is always insanely crowded, the food sucks, and yet it’s somehow pretentious. The menu is entirely in Italian, and along with the wine list, incomprehensible. I swear they went and found the most random and difficult to pronounce wines in all of Italy just to make you feel like an ass when you order. There are a few decent dishes, and some meat and cheese plates that are serviceable, but that’s difficult to screw up, and we’re not going to throw around points for some sopressata and a handful of olives. When it comes down to it, if you happen to be an Italian born sommelier with money to waste on mediocre food, this place is right up your alley. If not, skip it.

Food Rundown:

Polpo
Pretty standard grilled octopus. Not the best we’ve ever had, and not the worst either.

Truffle Egg Toast
Two large blocks of toast that look like bars of soap and are equally as hard to cut through. There was so much truffle oil on these that the table next to us smelled it and felt compelled to tell us they had just returned from picking fresh truffles in Italy. No shit Giada? Well you’re here now, so I’m gonna guess that means you were on a cruise and paid some grifter hundreds of Euros to take you on a glorified easter egg hunt. No more talking.

Large Flat Pasta with Pork Belly
Again, the menu is in Italian, and I can’t even remember what this translates to, so we’ll just call it pasta with pork belly. This was actually pretty damn good, but I don’t have my Rosetta Stone handy so I can’t tell you how to order it.

Polenta, Funghi and Cippolle
A decent polenta with mushroom and onion. The texture is good, but not the most flavorful polenta we’ve had. Again, not terrible, but not amazing.

Proscuitto, Mozzarella, and Arugula Pesto Panini
Not sure how this place sells so many panini’s. Maybe they banned George Foreman grills from the NYU dorm down the street.