Brgr
1026 3rd Ave., Upper East Side, NY
Brgr has opened the doors to its second location, now on the Upper East Side. What the hell is Brgr and where did the vowels go? Good question. Brgr is all about healthy hamburgers. Everything about this place is designed to pummel that message into your head. According to the giant wall of information, these cows eat grass and not corn. They also apparently walk freely through open meadows, and are allowed to date and practice the religion of their choice. How nice for them. Happy cows mean better meat, and better meat apparently means a healthy burger. That sign on the wall also says this beef has more omega 3s than salmon. Omega 3s you say? I’ll have a double.
So now you know the gimmick – but are the burgers any good? The answer is…kind of. The ingredients are definitely fresh, and a few of the burgers are pretty tasty. There are some problems though. First of all, grass fed beef is apparently really fucking expensive. Ten bucks to eat meat from a cow that wasn’t born in Japan is a little much. Also, there is something suspect about the staff and the way this place operates. It’s a bit unorganized. And every time we went in, we watched each griddle dude pick up the burgers and peek into the center to check for doneness. What is that? Your whole job is to cook a burger. You should know when it’s done without having to give it the How’s Your Father. Overall, this is a decent burger, and it will do the job in an area that could use a few more quick dinner options. But enough with trying to make me feel better about myself after I just ate a thousand calories of meat and fat. I can handle the guilt.
Food Rundown:
The Beautiful Day Burger
Your basic burger with tomato, pickle, and grilled onions – but there is also thousand island on this. Unfortunately, it doesn’t add much. This isn’t a terrible by any means, but it’s also not incredible and it’s pricey.
The Rainforest Burger
This one has gruyere cheese, avocado, and herb mayo. Our favorite burger on the menu, this is tasty, and the herb mayo and avocado make it a bit different from the norm.
The Magnificent Meadow Burger
These names are so terrible. This is definitely not magnificent. It’s a perfectly fine burger with Swiss and grilled mushrooms. Let’s re-name this one the Pretty Decent Because I Am Starving Sunshine Burger. And let’s drop the price by four bucks.
The Rolling Hills Burger
Why do people insist on eating turkey burgers? Why do so many burger places feel obligated to sell one? Brgr has four on the menu. They all suck, including this one. If your whole game is trying to convince people that grass fed beef is better for you than vitamins, why sell an alternative?
Sides
The fries are not good. Nor is the “onion hay”, which are shreds of fried onions that are really greasy and too salty. Sweet potato fries are the best of the lot. Skip The Trio (a basket with all three) and just order those.
Shakes
The blueberry-pomegranate shake at Brgr’s original location earned some accolades a few years back. It’s on the menu here as well. Here’s the deal. Four times I have ordered a shake at Brgr, and all but once, I essentially spent six dollars on flavored milk. The one time that the shake actually had the consistency of a shake, it was because it was pulled from the freezer. So basically it was a soupy mess when it was actually made, then it firmed up because it was old. If all six thousand Wendy’s on the planet can make a frosty without screwing it up, both Brgr locations should be able to get a shake right. Especially when it costs six bucks.
