Destination Infatuation: Hamptons

Summer in the city is upon us, and that means a mass exodus via 495 East every Friday afternoon. Yes, some of those Hamptons bound people are really, really obnoxious. But don’t let the obscene display of wealth and ridiculous outfits turn you off completely. The Hamptons are all about how you do it.

Despite all the glitz and high levels of douchery, the Hamptons are home to the most beautiful beaches on the East Coast…and some of our favorite things to eat. Rent a zipcar, toss your boogie board in the back and use this Destination Infatuation as your guide to where to eat on the East End. Just make sure you bring a nice big stack of cash too. The grubbing ain’t cheap.

We’ll be adding to this post all week, so check back daily. As you can see by how the list shapes up, we spend a lot of our time in Montauk, so this guide is East heavy. If Immaculate Infatuation could permanently set up shop in Montauk for the summer and “work from home” all week, we’d feel really good about that. Dare to dream.

Lunch (Lobster Roll)

There aren’t a lot of things in life that make us happier than a huge lobster roll from Lunch. In our opinion, not only is this the best lobster roll in the Hamptons, it’s the best lobster roll in the world. It’s heavy on the mayo, salt, pepper and celery, and served with slaw and crinkle cut fries. Heaven.

South Edison

In the summer, South Edison serves as Infatuation home base, Montauk. It’s a lively restaurant two blocks off the ocean at the far end of town and they’re consistently putting out the best restaurant food on the East End. The menu is loaded with exciting seafood, but there’s also plenty for the non fish eaters as well. Additionally, an impressive wine program, awesome local beer selections and a bloody mary with a jonah crab claw sticking out of it keep us coming back. As does oyster happy hour, which features $1 oysters from 2-5pm daily. We know this menu inside and out, and for starters suggest anything from the raw bar, the spicy tuna chalupa, shoshito peppers and the fluke sashimi. As for the mains: tuna, salmon, chicken leg and duck are always the fan favorites.

Round Swamp Farm

There are farm stands every five miles in the Hamptons and they all have great produce, but no one runs an operation quite like Round Swamp. The prepared foods here are absolutely insane. Literally, every single item at Round Swamp is f*cking ridiculous. Chicken buffalo balls, chicken salad, pesto bowtie pasta, dumplings, spring rolls, grilled vegetables, the breads, the guacamole, the fresh produce… it’s all the things that belong in your Hamptons fridge, without having to do the work. And don’t even get me started on the desserts. That Lisa, who’s name is on all the homemade baked goods…god damn. Girl has special talents. Just make sure you check with accounting before going. Nothing is labeled with a price tag, which is how you know it’s gonna be stupid expensive. We like to play the “predict the bill game” while waiting in line. Spending $200 at a farm stand never tasted so good.

Estia’s Little Kitchen

The fancy people line up for overpriced healthy food at Babette’s in East Hampton. The smart people go get breakfast burritos and hash browns at Estia’s. A tiny mom-and-pop operated restaurant on Route 114 between Sag Harbor and Bridge Hampton, Estia’s is our go-to brunch spot and it should be yours as well.

The Surf Lodge

Surf Lodge has single-handedly changed the Hamptons nightlife game. It used to be that if you wanted to seriously get after it on the East End, you were either battling the lines and awful people at Pink Elephant, or getting really dirty at The Point. Thanks to Surf Lodge and their awesome indoor/outdoor set up and (former) no doorman policy, the only problems we run into here are huge crowds, bathroom lines and too many hot chicks. At this point, Saturday nights are off limits. It’s an absolute zoo. We get our Surf Lodge in around 6 or 7p for an early cocktail, possibly some live music. It’s under new ownership now and the restaurant is no longer run by Sam Talbot, who you may remember from our Infatuation TV Episode. Apparently, the Teriyaki Truck that used to sit out in front was the cause of an insane amount of legal violations. It’s a shame, because the sandwiches they made were incredible.

Ruschmeyer’s

Since Surf Lodge literally can’t fit anymore people (just ask any of the 75 girls waiting in the bathroom line), expansion was the next logical step. This summer birthed Ruschmeyers, Surf Lodge’s summer camp style cousin around the block. There’s a sweet adult sand box/beer garden overlooking the lake, a restaurant run by the same team behind The Fat Radish, a bar, a dancing parlor and all sorts of other activities. Ruschmeyers is Perfect For all kinds of things, including white clam pizza with chili and grilled broad beans with salt.

Pierre’s

The Hamptons see and be seen game is not our thing, but if you want a little taste of that action, go to Pierre’s. Right smack in the middle of Bridgehampton, Pierre’s is a boisterous French bistro designed to appeal to the Hamptons crowd that winters in St Bart’s. The food is actually really good, and Pierre’s can be a damn good time if you’re in the right mindset. Just slick your hair back and wear your finest white pants. You’ll fit right in.

Beacon

The food at Beacon is solid, but not special. The crowd is older, and sometimes a little snotty. But the view…god damn is it spectacular. Overlooking the harbor from which Sag Harbor gets its name, there’s no better time to come than at sunset, when the sun lowers over the water, illuminating all the boats and fancy yachts in a deep orange glow. Look at that. We just found our inner Ruth Reichl writing this one. Must be from reading Garlic and Sapphires in its entirety this weekend.

Southfork Kitchen

The Hamptons gets some Napa Valley on at this new sustainable seafood restaurant that focuses on mostly East End produce, fish and meat. Unlike many restaurants around here, this one is way more substance than style, and one any Manhattan restaurant junkie is sure to appreciate. What’s also interesting is that the place is owned by NY Times “You’re The Boss” columnist Bruce Buschel, and his entire process of opening a restaurant has been well documented online. Former Harbor chef Joe Isidori serves an always changing, $60 three course prix fixe menu. Unfortunately, a recent kitchen fire set them back a bit, but once it’s back up and running, Southfork Kitchen restaurant needs to be at the top of your Hamptons hit list.

La Fondita

Every beach community needs a high quality taqueria and La Fondita fills that void out East. Order at the counter, grab a Modelo and set up shop at one of their outdoor picnic tables while your food is prepared. Some of our favorite go-to plates here are the chorizo tacos (or anything with their chorizo for that matter), the daily specials, the refried beans and plantains with salsa verde. Also, the aguas frescas are great, as are the Mexican wedding cookies.

Race Lane

Located in an old farmhouse, this year-round restaurant has a huge outdoor bar and patio, but is also appropriate for the cold weather months, when the big fire place sets a warm and cozy mood. Race Lane offers a nice balance – it’s hip and modern enough for people who fancy themselves hip and modern, but it’s also devoid of any scene and quiet enough for conversation. The food also happens to be pretty damn great. The beer braised short rib with poached egg is excellent, as is the pork chop and chocolate chocolate chip bread pudding.

Breadzilla

Sandwiches are a necessary beach accessory – almost as essential as flip flops and a 12 pack of Coors Light. The East End is stocked with bomb delis and specialty markets that huge, delicious creations to fuel your your day on the sand. Breadzilla is king of the sandwich game out here. Check out all these incredible options. We’ve never been disappointed by anything we’ve ordered here. Other sandwiches we’ll travel for include those of the focaccia and hero variety at Espresso Italian Market in Sag Harbor. The traditional style deli sandwich made with love and care at Hampton Marketplace in East Hampton is worth the wait and not only is the fried chicken at Herb’s Market in Montauk good, but so are the sandwiches.

Harvest On Fort Pond

The menu hasn’t changed in forever, and many of us who’ve been coming here for years are kind of over it, but there isn’t a better location for patio dining than Fort Pond at Harvest. It’s a good choice for the family or a big group of friends, just be sure to bring bug spray and some bread to feed the enormous fish by the dock. Our go-to’s here are the mussels, the calamari salad and the skirt steak.

Suki Zuki

In terms of reasonably priced sushi joints, there aren’t too many options out here. Thank goodness for Suki Zuki. Located right on Route 27 in Water Mill, it’s the convenience and spicy tuna sandwich that keep us coming back. It’s the perfect pit stop for dinner on the way out Friday night, or on the way home Sunday evening. The traffic can wait.

Gosman’s Dock

Got kids? It doesn’t get much better than Gosman’s. The dock, the boats, the clam bar, ice cream…it’s a children’s paradise. But big kids like us can appreciate it too. Drinks overlooking the water at Topside are certainly never a bad idea. However, you don’t want to eat up there. Eat down at the clam bar on the dock where you can dig into freshly caught local fish, delicious clam chowder, steamers, sandwiches and more.

Levain Bakery

We’re obsessed with chocolate chip cookies. One of the first things we ever did as Immaculate Infatuation was our Cookies Across The City video, which, despite being shot on a handheld from 1986, is probably the best video we’ll ever make. We agreed with our rented 9-year-old’s. Levain Bakery makes the best cookie in Manhattan. Lucky for us, they also have a bakery out East. Now you can enjoy delicious baseball sized cookies in your bathing suit.