Immaculate Infatuation

Jean-Georges kills it. We know this. The dude is one of the most inventive and creative chefs that’s ever lived. The locavore/farm to table movement that has recently taken hold of the New York dining scene is nothing new to J.G. – he’s been quietly playing that game for decades. That’s why it’s no surprise that when he finally decided to put his cards on the table, he flopped a boat.

Time Out reports that J.G. is calling ABC his “hippie restaurant”. It’s such a well thought out concept, at first you almost want to roll your eyes and brush it off as one big cliche. Don’t do it. Embrace the flannel shirts, recycled paper towels and foliage free branches. This is industrial rustic done right. Everything is incredibly well executed, and the attention to detail really caught our eye. We’re usually not the type to discuss light fixtures or artwork at the dinner table, but for a brief moment in time, we actually managed to sustain a conversation about something other than our typical immature dinner banter. The ladies at our table were in heaven, and we’re honestly surprised that they didn’t try to stuff every piece of mismatched china and clay dinnerware into their purses. Speaking of purses, typically Jean-Georges dining comes with a hefty price tag, but that’s not the case at ABC Kitchen. This is actually an affordable way to experience his cuisine – indulge you should. A diverse mix of salads, pizzas, pastas and main course proteins decorate a menu that’s meant to be shared. Take a hit and pass, it’s the hippie way.

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It’s official. New York City has become Disney World, and Pulino’s is the newest attraction at Pleasure Island.

Now, I can’t claim that I was around when The Bowery was home to Syd Vicious and Dee Dee Ramone and all the people they did smack with. But I did manage to get here before CBGB turned into a John Varvatos and before Daniel Boulud took a dump on it’s memory by naming his restaurant DBGB. That’s right Danny, God Save the Queen. Unfortunately, I missed the really good stuff, when the neighborhood was filthy and punk rock changed the world. But I did at least experience something a little different – before Mickey and Goofy cleaned up the streets and put in a gift shop.

Either way, Keith McNally is here now, and he’s brought his flagship Pastis over from the Magic Kingdom. What’s the difference between Pastis and Pulino’s? Pizza. Ultimately, this is just another McNally franchise, which is fine, but you better know what to expect before you eat. You aren’t coming here for a great New York pizza experience. You’re coming here to either stare at, or show off some ridiculous legs in a miniskirt, and God bless you for that. The pizzas are definitely decent, but this place is more about the scene and having a good time. We’ll go on record saying that we are totally cool with that…but let’s not shower the joint with Michelin Stars just yet. If you want to avoid the craziness but still get in on the action and get a table, we recommend rolling up at about 10:45 on a Friday night. The bar will still be bumping, but you should sit quickly, and at midnight they begin serving a limited number of killer late night burgers. Part of us definitely wishes there was still some grit to the area, but another part of us is also just fine with late night food and miniskirts. Maybe Disney World isn’t so bad after all.

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As much as it pains us to say this, Momofuku Midtown is disappointing. We’ve been camping out here for a while now, eating our way through multiple incarnations of the lunch menu in multiple locations (hotel bar, and official restaurant space). Our verdict? It’s no question that that Má Pêche is a welcome addition to the midtown lunch scene, but it’s nowhere near as awesome as Ssam or Noodle Bar. You know that automatic feeling of “hell yes” you experience when headed to one of those other joints? Don’t expect that from Má Pêche. Sure, there are some good bites on the menu, but you wont find anything as indulgent and satisfying as the Momofuku specialties we’ve grown to know and love in the East Village. Plus, this shit is expensive. I guess that’s to be expected when you are closer in proximity to the Plaza than you are to the Mercury Lounge. There’s also something oddly uncomfortable about the space. The upstairs bar is strangely lit and sterile..almost like something you’d find in Terminal 5 at JFK. The main dining room feels like the perfect venue for a douchey finance guy’s annual white party. Not exactly comfortable dining in either scenario, but we’re sure the execs at News Corp will love it.

Photo Credit: Daniel Krieger

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As embarrassing as this is to admit, we secretly find Bravo’s Real Housewives programming pretty entertaining. What can we say, we’re suckers (especially Steinthal) for horny MILFs who dress and act like they’re still in high school. While most of them are awful, there’s one we’ve grown specifically fond of: NYC Housewife and Playboy Cover girl Kelly Killoren Bensimon. For a 41-year-old, that is one slammin’ body. Believe it or not, she actually eats (and tweets about it!). Here’s proof in the form of today’s Friday Fives (we gave her an extra pick since we refuse to consider the Boom Boom Room a restaurant).

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Two things have changed since this website started taking over our lives: we sleep less, and we eat more. You would think that the body’s natural response to such developments would be to force rest and fasting. Instead, quite the opposite has happened. We’ve begun to take a lot of pleasure in a little thing we like to call Second Dinner. Second Dinner is exactly what it sounds like – a post-dinner dinner, usually at a very late hour. We’ve got some favorite places for such excursions, Blue Ribbon and Momofuku Ssam especially. Sushi Seki is on that list as well. First class omakase at two in the morning is a Second Dinner dream.

To be honest, Sushi Seki is pretty great no matter when you go. Chef Seki is a Sushi of Gari alum, and the omakase is up there with some of the best you will find anywhere in town. As a matter of fact, everything on the menu is quite good, but going for spicy tuna rolls and some unagi is missing the point. It will still be tasty, but all the portions of sushi and sashimi are omasake size, and it’s still pricey. Service is good though, and you should leave happy. It feels strange to be rolling up to a restaurant in this neighborhood and finding anything other than bar nachos or bad Indian food. But sure enough, Sushi Seki is the real deal…a Second Dinner oasis in a neighborhood where we hardly ever eat First Dinner.

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