Immaculate Infatuation

I can’t make up my mind on how I feel about BLT Fish. We’ve had an up and down relationship over the years. It all started with a bad experience – a $90 whole red snapper that didn’t taste right going in and had our entire table paying the price on the way out. On the other hand, staying away from the whole fish and going heavy on octopus and scallops has led to some enjoyable meals here recently. Quite the conundrum, I know. Downstairs, I feel like their whole “fish shack” thing is contrived. A big sailfish mounted on the wall doesn’t make you authentic. Upstairs, it’s hard to see past the extreme price tag that often leaves me angry and bitter even though the food is indeed quite tasty.

BLT’s restaurants are new school upscale, sleek dining halls whose service most closely resembles that at a white tablecloth, fine dining establishment. While this formula has resulted in a successful chain of meat markets and steakhouses, it just doesn’t translate well with fish. I’m fine with paying money for good seafood, but oysters and octopus in such a refined environment just doesn’t do it for me. I like my pricey seafood a bit more laid-back, with more character and less Blue Water Grill, if you know what I mean. If my parents want to mess with some upscale fish action then sure, I’ll go to BLT Fish again. If I’m paying, my money’s going to The Mermaid Inn, Mary’s Fish Camp, or Marlow & Sons.

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L’Express is an Infatuation MVP – a staple in the repertoire that is good for just about everything from casual dinner with friends, to business lunch, to drinks and crossing your fingers on a first date. The menu sports French classics like escargot and duck a l’orange, but good ole USA eats like burgers and sandwiches are plentiful as well. Brunch, lunch, and dinner are all excellent and unshakably consistent, but we especially love this 24 hour French brasserie for the New York City menagerie that it becomes at three in the morning. Late at night the restaurant fills with a colorful crowd of drunks looking for something other than a diner omelet to help them survive the morning. We’re with them. Somehow that lamb burger tastes even better when you’re on the precipice of a full on black out.

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When you wear a yarmulke, your culinary options are pretty limited. While New York is one of the few cities in the US that actually has a handful of kosher options, at their price points, they are competing with the most expensive restaurants in the city. That’s pretty rough given that the rules of the kosher diet limit how meat can be prepared (no butter, no milk). While you know you’ll be guaranteed a quality piece of meat when you go kosher, the execution can at times fall short, making it difficult to justify the high price tag.

Since I have a number of kosher friends in my life, I’ve dined at places like Tevere (easily my favorite), Solo (where Top Chef winner Hung had a stint as head chef) and Prime Grill (most overpriced, average steak in Manhattan), all of which generally left me feeling unfulfilled and, well, broke. For the price of a lot of these places we could be eating at Eleven Madison Park and properly indulging. Always keeping an open mind however, when a Kosher friend and devoted Infatuation reader wanted to take us to her favorite Kosher spot to see how it measured up to our standards, we were down to give it a go and head to Mike’s Bistro on the Upper West Side.

Mike’s Bistro is a big deal in the world of kosher restaurants. Although its appearance might suggest differently, this is a popular special occasion spot, especially with the younger generation. It’s plain and rather boring decor give Mike’s the feel of a glorified basement. Excessive wood (not in a cool rustic way, but in an ordinary kitchen cabinet way) and bright lights are a bit of a turn off. Good thing the food isn’t. A clear Italian influence makes this menu more ambitious than most kosher spots and I’d happily return.

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If you read our reviews or follow us on Twitter, you know that food, music, and sports are on an equal playing field. In general, we loath most sports bars. We have no time for tasteless places that think merely having the game on is enough reason to exist. It’s not hard to put together and semi-classy place with excessive flat screens and reasonable pub grub, so why aren’t there more quality sports bars in the city with the world’s most dedicated sports fans?

New York Ranger/Vogue Magazine intern heartthrob Sean Avery must have thought he was coming to the rescue when he opened his own upscale spot in Tribeca, an area in dire need of a good sports haven. Don’t get me wrong, the place is dope. With a vintage locker room vibe, walls filled with memorabilia of local sports heroes like Joe Namath, Lawrence Taylor, and Dave DeBusschere, comfy leather booths and cocktail table video games, Warren 77 certainly could be an Infatuation hangout.

Unfortunately, Avery opened this “sports bar” with the guys famous for making Beatrice Inn the hottest coke den for gossip girls citywide. Yeah sure, rolling into your local sports bar and finding blondes in heels lining the bar is cool … for about 60 seconds. Until they start yapping way too loud and asking you to explain the game of baseball to them.

If you’re into blow, don’t care about watching a game, like shitty bar food, and are looking to get laid, jack our ranking up three whole points – this place is for you. If not, avoid this place like the plague. For a sports bar, screens are limited, the layout does not accommodate big crowds (exactly what Warren 77 attracts on game night), and the back area is worse than the 4 train to Yankee Stadium at 6:30 on game day. So much for the whole “the space is dope” thing.

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Just as we were swearing ourselves off the Meatpacking District for good, Bill’s Bar & Burger opens its doors and drags us right back in. Bill’s took over the space that used to be the Hog Pit, and even though we had a handful of good nights there somewhere around 2003, it was time for something new. Luckily, what took over the space is not another nightclub with a chef or restaurant with a DJ, but rather an excellent burger joint reminiscent of the great middle-of-nowhere dives around the country.

Bill’s burgers are griddle-top masterpieces with a low profile and a soft sesame seed bun, and they‘re definitely one of the best burgers in town. Variations on the standard include a burger with Anaheim chiles and an excellent homage to the In-N-Out classic. The prices are middle-of-nowhere cheap, and the service is laid back and friendly. We were especially pleased to find two well placed flat screens in the bar – perfect for discreetly watching a game while you house a burger or two.

At the end of the day, it’s probably a good thing for our health that Bill’s didn’t open in a neighborhood that we visit more frequently. Plus, that central Meatpacking location will make them a mint feeding all the drunks before they hop back in the limo and text their friends from a phone they dropped in the toilet. We’ll save our visits for afternoons.

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