Immaculate Infatuation

Casellula is a “cheese and wine cafe”. Note the order of those words. If you’re looking for a wine bar with hundreds of varietals and rare finds, look elsewhere. In need of a dark place to take a date so she can’t tell that your hairline is in full retreat? Keep it movin’. Casellula is about the cheese first, all that other stuff second. So, if what you’re after is a laid back spot where you can get a raw milk goat cheese from Italy, this is your joint.

Casellula is a cozy little room in Hells Kitchen, run by some serious fromage lovers. The owner was once the head cheese guru at The Modern, something I discovered when I saw a congratulatory letter from Danny Meyer hanging in the bathroom. You might think something like that should be displayed in the office or over the bar, but I guess I did read it while I peed. Well placed. The cheese selection is vast and some are incredibly tasty, each priced at six bucks. Don’t do dairy? Casellula is also good for a glass of wine and a casual meal. There are some nice bites on the menu – specifically the Pig’s Ass Sandwich – but only the cheeses and desserts reach mind-blowing levels. Don’t miss the chocolate cake. It’s absolutely ridiculous.

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At first glance, this Hell’s Kitchen hole in the wall is as easy to overlook as any average midtown bodega. Inside, it’s actually not much different; a tiny dive of a space with condiments on the table and Bob Marley on the wall. Instead of peddling beer and cigarettes however, this joint deals in beef and poultry. The menu is insane – there are close to 40 different burger and chicken sandwich options, which generally makes us nervous. Places that dress their meat up every which way are usually trying to shield you from the truth – that the meat by itself is questionable. We’re not shocked at all to find that the burgers are just that.

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Joseph Leonard is 650 square feet of seriously hyped restaurant. By my estimation that makes about four bloggers per square foot that wrote it up based on a pencil sketch and insider information from a delivery guy. I guess that makes us late to the game. So while we won’t exactly follow suit and take you through the place of origin of every antique light fixture and picture frame in the building, we will tell you this – it looks like a tastefully furnished studio apartment that’s 50% bar (my kind of apartment). It’s also pretty obvious that the restaurant was conceived in the spirit of Little Owl. Every inch of space serves a purpose, including the upper level bar seats, perfectly engineered for surveying the action while you eat. The menu is American with both French and Southern touches, and while dinner is generally better than brunch, it’s a nice place to dine any time of day. We like it and will visit often – a new West Village go-to even – but you’ll find that all that hype is pretty hard to live up to. Don’t look to us if you go in expecting a religious experience and come away a little disappointed. That’s what you get for spending too much time on Yelp.

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On a recent trip to the West Village we were stopped dead in our tracks. Whoa. What on God’s green earth do we have here? The bar standing in front of us was truly immaculate. We couldn’t look away. There was some kind of Daniel Faraday/Lost island style frequency sucking us inside even though our lives were supposed to go down a different path that night. We couldn’t resist it. We bailed on our plans and hit the Highlands.

As we suspected, Highlands is an Infatuation kind of joint. Rows of whiskey and bourbon line the exposed brick walls behind the bar. A packed house of put together, good looking locals sip on dark drinks, specialty cocktails and international beers with high alcohol content. Everyone is feelin’ it and having a grand ol’ time. Although we haven’t been on the weekend, we hear it’s slammed shoulder to shoulder, Spotted Pig style.

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Writing this review is a strange experience for me. It’s kind of like writing up my grandmother’s cooking. Actually, if that’s the case I should probably make this a 10.0…sorry grandma. I’m half Lebanese and grew up eating food like this at family gatherings, so I think it’s a pretty big compliment to Balade when I say this reminds me of what grandma has coming out of the kitchen on holidays. The only reason Balade doesn’t get a ridiculously high rating is because I don’t think most people have any idea what a lot of this food is. Obviously you’ve had hummus, or at least some bastardized Whole Foods version with edamame in it (more on that later), and chances are you’ve seen some stuffed grape leaves or spinach pies on a menu at a Greek restaurant. Whatever the case, if you don’t know much about Lebanese food, you should just know that if you like garlic, olive oil, lemon, and meat – you’re probably going to like what you eat at Balade.

There are are a handful of Lebanese restaurants in New York City, and many of them are very good. Some of the newer ones though, like Naya and ilili, are slick, modern, and high end. Balade is certainly no hole in the wall, but it’s relaxed and warm – much more our speed than those other spots. I don’t care what kind of food you’re serving, I don’t want to listen to a DJ spin while I eat. Ever. So Balade gets a leg up for being the right kind of atmosphere, … read more