Immaculate Infatuation

French Laundry is a once in a lifetime dining experience. A special occasion meal that every food loving individual should treat themselves to at some point in their life. On a recent trip to Napa, some friends scored a reservation, and you better believe, I was not going to pass it up. True, I would be dropping an insane amount of dough, but I knew that this opportunity would probably not present itself again for a long time.

When you pay $250 a person for a seat, you best believe that every course is going to be scrutinized like an episode of Lost. Expectations couldn’t have been higher, and both the food and service delivered in every way possible. Unlike some elaborate tasting menus, this nine course feast isn’t an exercise in how far your belly can expand, it’s more of an adventurous road trip for your taste buds to experience. There’s no better tour guide than Thomas Keller, who proves why the New York Times declared French Laundry as, “the most exciting restaurant in America.”

Until you actually step foot inside and see how small it is (15-20 tables, max), it’s hard to comprehend how The Laundry can possibly be the hardest reservation to get in North America. Are there really that many people in Yountville, CA desperate to unload their piggy banks on any given night? To secure a table, you have to call exactly two months ahead of time, right when they open, and only then do you stand a fraction of a chance of getting through. It’s like trying to be the 100th caller when Z100 is giving away Lady GaGa tickets.

My one complaint is the fact that the setting of the restaurant doesn’t reflect it’s geographic location at all. You’re dining in one of the most beautiful places in the world, at one of the finest culinary establishments in the world and if you didn’t know any better you could be eating in a basement in Kansas City. The dining room is as plain and stuffy as they come, especially downstairs where we sat. At least upstairs, you might get an open window with a view. With the exception of a small outdoor area by the entrance (which isn’t exactly conducive to hanging out) and an alleged garden across the street, that’s all you get as far as lush, green grounds. We may have deducted a few points for decor, but as far as food goes, this was by far, one of the best meals I’ve ever eaten.

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There are a lot of things we love about New Orleans. The people, the music, the food, ordering drinks from the bar “to go”. But there is one thing in particular that is drawing us back to the bayou like a giant, delicious magnet from the south – the desire to have another meal at Cochon.

We have had some amazing dining experiences in New Orleans. We were most recently in town for Jazz Fest, and actually couldn’t get ourselves into Cochon due to both the size of our group and the insane popularity of the place. Instead we ate at Chef/Owner Donald Link’s private dining space above Cochon (which was excellent), and at the sandwich and charcuterie storefront Cochon Butcher (also incredible). During our visit we hit some of the legendary New Orleans spots, and even had a civilized lunch at John Besh’s restaurant, August. But after a few days of amazing eating, we still couldn’t help but feel like we were missing something. We wanted in on Cochon. So, like any responsible and rational person would, we changed our flights so that we could stay an extra day, see some music, and have one more dinner. Then we would take the first flight out Monday morning so we could make it back to work in time. Smart.

Here is the best way to describe how good this meal was. We walked into dinner on life support. We might as well have been dropped off at the restaurant in a wheelbarrow after the last four days we spent in the Big Easy. But this food gave us the will to survive. In one meal, I probably had three different dishes that were so good that I am going commission paintings of them. The wood fired oysters alone gave me a renewed will to live. I could write for hours about how this restaurant is special and incredible, and how I think we should kidnap this guy and force him to open one here in New York City. But instead, just read the food rundown and check out the pics. That should be enough to convince you.

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Happy 4th of July to the Infatuation Nation. We’re celebrating the holiday by bringing you a Friday Fives of historic magnitude. Uncle Sam himself gives you five go-to picks and some interesting personalities that he likes to follow on Twitter. Restaurant favorites from the face of a nation…we’re so big time.

Also, Uncle Sam says that if you’re signed up to our email list, you don’t have to pay any federal income taxes this year.

Seriously. He said that.
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Normally, we wouldn’t offer a full review to a dessert bar. With all due respect to sweet spots like Levain Bakery, Jacques Torres, ChikaLicious, Magnolia and Led Zeppole, there’s one thing they lack that Milk Bar doesn’t – pork buns. David Chang deprived Midtown’s new Momofuku establishment, Má Pêche, of his famous pork fat sandwiches, possibly to avoid over-saturating the marketplace 90’s baseball card style. Whatever the reason, my dreams of noshing on them for lunch in Midtown have been crushed, so this drive-by buns situation in the East Village now warrants a full review.

People go Justin Bieber crazy over Milk Bar. They’ve either got the fever, checking back daily for the new soft serve flavors and vying with Nathan A. for foursquare mayorship . Or, they despise the place and every wannabe food blogger/poser that’s obsessed with it. In the beginning, The Infatuation was split. I was incredibly skeptical. On the flip side, Stang had (and still has) a boner the size of Florida for the stupid rotating soft serve flavors and compost cookies – which are trademarked, just in case you needed to know that. The menu thought you did. Personally, I think the ice cream flavors are ridiculous. Jelly Doughnut? Cream Cheese Frosting? Peach Tea? They’re trying a little too hard here and the majority of the fruit flavors taste like soft serve cough medicine. I’m more of a traditionalist. I like my chocolate chip cookies without cornflakes and marshmallows, my soft serve from Mister Softee with rainbow sprinkles and my birthday cake made of ice cream instead of hippie goo-bars and frosting. Over time, I learned to check my aforementioned traditional palate at the door and accept these crazy dessert creations with an open mind. With every passing day I warm up to Milk Bar more and more. The cookies and cakes seem to get better with each visit, but it’s the pies that helped me turn the corner. Both the Crack Pie and Candy Bar Pie are incredible and reason enough to wait on line.

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When Gail Simmons hit us with her Friday Fives, she listed August as her Chronic Brunch pick. Smart woman. She made us realize that even though August has long been a staple in our lives, a review seems to have slipped through the cracks. It’s time to rectify this situation right now.

Everyone loves August. It’s impossible not to. The same way I’m always down to watch those movies that are endlessly on TV like Any Given Sunday or Empire Records, I’m also always down for brunch at August. This little European bistro is perfectly located in the heart of all the good West Village action. The friendly space smells of firewood and has an awesome glass enclosed garden that gets tons of sun. August is really a better brunch/lunch spot than it is a dinner spot. The dinner entrees are never as exciting as the eggs, sandwiches and pizza you get during the daytime hours. Plus, the prices on the dinner menu are a little steep. One dinner option we do like, however, is the Sunday night “Pizza & Peronis” meal: one pizza and four Peronis for $25. Not necessarily the Gray’s Papaya recession special, but we back the idea and the pizza is really good. Speaking of pizza and beer, dudes, listen up – August is a great First/Early In The Game Date spot. Considering that her and her friends already love it, you’ll score extra points right off the bat by taking her to the location of her last Book Club meeting. Trust me; it’s a better option than the new Dos Caminos in the Meat Packing district.

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