Immaculate Infatuation

It has come to our attention that surprsingly few people that we know, know about Les Halles. Even card carrying Infatuation Platinum Diners rarely speak of the place, which is curious, because it’s our kind of restaurant. It’s simple, it’s inviting, and what they do, they do well.

Now, ask anyone with basic cable and spice rack about Bobby Flay and they should be able to spit out something about Mesa Grill…maybe even Bar Americain. But ask those same people about Anthony Bourdain, and unless they read Kitchen Confidential, I doubt you’ll hear much about Les Halles. Bourdain spent many years as the restaurant’s executive chef, and it’s still his “home base” according to the restaurant. So, if you count yourself among those who haven’t been, allow us to elaborate.

If what you know of Bourdain is entirely based on No Reservations, you might expect that a restaurant under his watch would be all about ethnic food, random animal parts, and booze (which, now that I think about it, would be amazing). But Les Halles is a straightforward French bistro, and it’s all about the steaks and the fries. The important thing to know if you’re going is this: don’t fuck around. Don’t go if you’re planning to skip the red meat and order a salad and a piece of salmon. Don’t go if you’re expecting four star French service and finger sandwiches. Go if you’re hungry for a steak and feel like working on a mid-day wine buzz. That’s how you do it.

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Raoul’s is the shit. That’s really the only proper way to put it. If you can’t have a good time here, you probably can’t have a good time anywhere. This boisterous French bistro has been a Soho institution since the 70’s. It’s that awesome NYC restaurant depicted in your favorite Woody Allen flick, one that probably doesn’t exist in real life. Except it does and in reality it’s just as cool. Raoul’s is useful for a variety of different reasons. Having dinner with friends from out of town? They will feel the upbeat, lively vibe at Raoul’s. Double date with your favorite party couple who like to un-tuck, throw a couple back and grub hard? This is the place. Just be prepared to drop dollars. On the prowl after work with your favorite wing-man/wing-woman? There’s all kinds of good action here and a nice variety to choose from; a classy crowd of spunky ladies and well put together dudes. If you want to be all up in the mix, make sure to request a table in the front of the restaurant. For a more subdued good time, the back atrium through the kitchen is where it’s at. Time to talk food.

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When you name your restaurant Good, it damn well better be just that. Mediocrity ain’t gonna cut it, and you better impress. Thanks mainly to the food, Good stays relatively true to its name. It’s a useful neighborhood option, good for a meal at anytime of day. It gets crazy for brunch and rightfully so, they do good work with eggs. For West Village locals, they’re a heavy rotation delivery spot as well. It’s not all good all the time though. The quality of the food and setting in which you eat doesn’t do the menu justice, everything seems to be $4-5 too expensive. It’s essentially a not as good, West Village version of Infatuation favs The Smith and Jane, and it’s more expensive. The décor is nothing special and the service is consistently not be good. Lastly, beware of sitting up front near the fly infested windows; you might as well be eating your breakfast burrito in Somalia.

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There are a few ‘inoteca outposts, so let us begin by saying this particular review is of “‘inoteca Vino, Cucina e Liquori Bar”. I’m already mad that I had to type all of that. This is a small Italian wine bar and restaurant in the middle of Murray Hill. Now, there are plenty of people who want to claim this place is in Gramercy, but I’m sorry, if you’re within walking distance of a bar called “The Hill” and half of your customers are under the age of 24, you’re in f*&%ing Murray Hill. This little wine bar is a popular date spot for people who live in the area, and who apparently also have terrible taste. Please, whatever you do, do not bring a date here. Instead click First/Early in the Game Dates or Date Night and choose an Infatuation approved establishment. We promise you’ll have a better night.

I’ll try and keep this simple. This place is always insanely crowded, the food sucks, and yet it’s somehow pretentious. The menu is entirely in Italian, and along with the wine list, incomprehensible. I swear they went and found the most random and difficult to pronounce wines in all of Italy just to make you feel like an ass when you order. There are a few decent dishes, and some meat and cheese plates that are serviceable, but that’s difficult to screw up, and we’re not going to throw around points for some sopressata and a handful of olives. When it comes down to it, if you happen to be an Italian born sommelier with money to waste on mediocre food, this place is right up your alley. If not, skip it.

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Pleasantly surprising…that’s how I’d describe our recent visit to Apiary. Who would have thought that this little boutiquey restaurant next door to Village Barf House on 3rd Ave. turned out such high quality food? Thanks to the recent addition of new chef Scott Bryan (Le Bernardin, Bouley, Gotham Bar & Grill), Apiary has received some good buzz lately, and rightfully so. Apiary is not only a solid local East Village option; it’s a restaurant that should be on everyone’s radar. The food that’s coming out of that kitchen is excellent – top tier quality and at an affordable price. The flavor and texture combinations, presentation and all around attention to detail on each dish really wowed us. You can eat very well here, and even have a drink, for $50 a person. Definitely take advantage of the Sun-Thurs $35 three course tasting menu, that’s a damn good deal. Another plus, Monday is “no corkage” night.

While it is indeed a comfortable place to hang and eat, the one strike against Apiary is the décor. It’s trying a little too hard to be sleek and contemporary. The combination of what looks like glowing flamingo statues in the front window, big flower arrangements in the back and a half-assed play on silhouettes and shadows throughout makes it feel like you’re eating at CB2 showroom on Collins Street in Miami Beach.

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