Immaculate Infatuation

I am pretty sure we have said this in other reviews, but I think it’s worth mentioning again. In no circumstance is it OK to have a set of turntables in a restaurant. Ever. I understand that there are people in this world who love nothing more than a sweet remix, but DJ Skrizz does not belong at dinner.

The reason we bring this up is because it has presented us with a conflict when it comes Il Bagatto. This is a really good East Village Italian restaurant that we used to hit up often for upbeat drunk dinners and the occasional date. It’s a dark yet lively space with a great downstairs bar and a few excellent menu items. Unfortunately, Il Bagatto has also become home to super long waits, obnoxious patrons, and a guy downstairs on the ones and twos trying to beat mix Rhianna into Men at Work. We’ve dealt with annoying crowds before, but for god’s sake don’t encourage them.

At the end of the day, we’re not recommending that you stay away from Il Bagatto entirely. Just know what you’re walking into during prime time hours. Things can be more sedate early in the week, and it’s honestly worth a visit just for the grilled calamari. Otherwise, there are plenty of other great Italian restaurants in the area, including Il Posto Accanto right next door.

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When news broke last week that Lamazou’s owners Aziz and Nancy (Lamazou) had leased space to open a restaurant, we thought two things: hell yes, and we are stupid. How on earth had we gone so long without posting this review?

Years ago when I lived in the neighborhood, I wandered into this nondescript cheese shop and ordered a sandwich off the list. I quickly realized that what I held in my hand was a perfectly assembled fistful of cured meat, cheese and bread that would be the start of a long and fulfilling relationship with Lamazou. From that day forward, this place was a three day a week meal stop, and over the years I managed to eat my way through damn near everything in the deli case.

What you’ll find at Lamazou is not only an incredible selection of cheeses (there is a cheese cave in the basement), but also various high quality cured meats. Both selections are incredible in their own right, but the real magic comes when the two are combined to make bomb ass sandwiches. Aziz is always happy to recommend something from the menu, and he’ll also point you in the direction of what goodness in the cheese case is particularly off the hook…whether you ask or not. That’s exactly the kind of personality and passion that makes this place amazing. Also present are various imported snacks and candies from around the world that I can neither pronounce or identify, but they’re all interesting and tasty. Especially Taytos. Thanks England for giving me a way to order your potato chips without having to say the word “crisps”.

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Kelly has been a fixture in the New York dining scene for a while now thanks to her successful NYC TV show Eat Out NY. It was only recently that she broke through on a national level, as the host of the always entertaining Top Chef Masters. Kelly likes to have a good time on Twitter – definitely follow her if you’re not already, and keep your eyes peeled around town. There’s a good chance she’s laughing, drinking a glass of wine and taking down a full a chicken in the booth next to you.

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We saw Sam Sifton’s Times review of this place a few months ago, and decided to try and figure out what he likes so much about a restaurant known for cheap steak. We had no such luck. To be honest, we’re having a hard time figuring out what makes this any better than a steak dinner inside Denver International Airport. I suppose you could bring in a full size bottle of shampoo if you want.

At Le Relais de Venise, there is only one thing on the menu. It’s a three course meal that costs $24 and consists of the following: salad, steak, and frites. Loyalists maintain that this is a fantastic deal for a really good steak – and waitresses in French maid outfits seem to always get a mention. In reality, this is mediocre steak smothered in “secret” sauce to compensate for the fact that it’s tough and chewy. Kind of like what McDonald’s does with the McRib. If you ask us, we’d rather spend $22.50 on the Steak au Poive and frites at Les Halles – better price, better steak, better fries.

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We freak out over tacos. They’re constantly on the brain, and our quest to uncover tasty tacos around this city is never ending. In some other parts of the country, taco trucks and carts decorate street corners like Starbucks do here. In NYC, you have to dig a little harder. So when we come up with a quality find, it’s something to write home about. Get Up Kids style.

The good people of Infatuation Nation who constantly @immaculateinfat and email us with their suggestions led us to Tehuitzingo. Thank you guys, well done. It doesn’t look like much from the outside, but once through the storefront bodega, an oasis of hot sauce is uncovered. There are nearly twenty different taco options ranging from goat to beef tongue to pork to potatoes with jalapenos. There’s a little something for everyone. Order at the window, grab a 16oz Mexican Coke from the fridge, nosh on a stool and enjoy the ghetto grocery garden of fake flowers, inflatable Corona bottles and palm trees hanging from the rafters. This is our kind of spot.

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