Last week, we went out on an Immaculate Infatuation blind date. A mutual friend introduced us to two food enthusiasts with whom we share similar tastes and interests, Miss Info and Heather Park. Team Infatuation suggested Macao Trading Co. for dinner based on some recent hype and the promise of an interesting “Chinese meets Portuguese” meal. A Thursday dinner went in the books and we hit the town feeling it. We met our partners in crime at the bar, hit it off immediately, and sat down at our table ready to get into some serious eating.

This review wrote itself so fast; I think I have enough material to make it a three part series. First of all, Macao is a huge scene … everyone in the house is either on an early in the game date, or starting off their night before they hit Pink Elephant. Second, the place is essentially a theme restaurant. There must have been a yard sale after the last Indiana Jones movie and the owners of Macao cleaned out every prop that Planet Hollywood didn’t already scoop up. I honestly wouldn’t have been surprised to see a monkey in a shriner’s hat come out and bus the table. The food and service were right about on par with a downtown Ruby Foo’s. We ordered a lot from the menu, many of the dishes suggested by our waiter, and nearly everything was overcooked, over seasoned, and overrated. The shining stars from our meal were the chicken dumplings, and you can get five of those for a dollar a few blocks north on Canal Street. Moral of the story? Next time we let our new friends pick the restaurant.

Food Rundown:

Manila Clams – Portuguese Style
This is actually a pretty good dish, and word must have spread quickly since they were out of it by about 9:45pm the night we were there. Small clams in a spicy broth with chorizo sausage, that’s a tough combo to hate on.

Meatballs – Portuguese Style
These are lamb meatballs inexplicably filled with a large amount of white cheese. The cheese is unnecessary and unappetizing. I imagine the thought process went something like “hey, it worked for stuffed crust pizza … yep let’s do it”.

Olive Oil Poached Octopus
This dish somehow lacks flavor. Aside from the texture, the potato in the dish and the octopus taste exactly the same.

Chicken Dumplings
Our blue ribbon winner for the night, but honestly you can’t screw these up and still be open for business, and you shouldn’t be charging nine dollars for four of them.

Peking Style Pork Ribs
I have a hard time believing these ribs come from a pig and not a wooly mammoth. Maybe the biggest pork ribs I’ve seen, and it took an hour to eat one. Messy and unimpressive.

Ants Climbing The Tree
This is a large serving of glass noodles with minced pork. It could have been much better, but the noodles were overcooked and mushy.

Bacalao Fried Rice
Almost a really good dish, but the Bacalao (salt cod) wass way too salty, even for the taste buds of Miss Info and Heather Park who have eaten their way through every ethnic food in this city. Swing and a miss.

Having heard some good things, Team Infatuation headed out on a rainy Monday night for further investigation. We made a reservation and arrived on time to an empty bar and an obviously slow restaurant – yet we were told to wait at the bar for our table. Fair enough. I understand the concept of not seating too many tables in a waiter’s section, kitchen capacity, or whatever – even though we had a reservation. After about fifteen minutes, we asked the host what the deal was and were reluctantly seated. We sat down and could hear a pin drop. Maybe a quarter of the tables were occupied, and judging by the complete absence of audible conversation, everyone was either angry or afraid of the staff. No waiter or busboy visited the table for about ten minutes, and throughout the evening we had to ask someone to find our server three times to rectify various mishaps.

Read the food rundown for the rest of the story, but the service was a joke, and this place is not cheap. Also, they will tell you it’s “family style”, which is perfect if you are family of exactly two, you are rich, and you hate food.

Food Rundown:

Singapore Slaw
This is the only reason I didn’t give Shang a 0.0. The Singapore Slaw was a very good salad to share. Nineteen Ingredients!

Yellowtail Sashimi
I love Yellowtail. It is without question my favorite kind of sashimi. This Yellowtail smelled like a mix between sweaty sock and old fish. We told the waiter it smelled and tasted bad, to which his reply was “let me check with the kitchen”. He returned and condescendingly told us it has just been cut from the fish, and that we were, well … wrong. Dear chef, your fish was either six days old or had just been pulled out of the Gowanus Canal.

Diver Scallop and Chorizo
This was one of those “family style” dishes that cost us $23.50 for three of them. A decent scallop wrapped up in a banana leaf with some sausage and some kind of stuffing like paste at the bottom.

Crispy Lobster Lettuce Wraps
The lobster is served hot, and surrounded by a heavy batter, almost like a lobster hush puppy with lettuce around it. The “lemon balm” flavor is almost unbearable, and overpowers everything else. Party of five + each of you gets one = $45.00.

Crispy Garlic Chicken
Fatty chicken that came served atop a dark gloppy sauce that our non Infatuation co-diner said reminded him of college Chinese takeout. Not in a good way.

Hunan Spicy Orange Pork Ribs
Short pork ribs covered in what I think was the same sauce that was under the chicken. I was eating mine with a fork because they were so messy and mostly fat. The waiter kindly reminded me to eat them with my hands. Thanks. I hate you.