Immaculate Infatuation

It’s official. New York City has become Disney World, and Pulino’s is the newest attraction at Pleasure Island.

Now, I can’t claim that I was around when The Bowery was home to Syd Vicious and Dee Dee Ramone and all the people they did smack with. But I did manage to get here before CBGB turned into a John Varvatos and before Daniel Boulud took a dump on it’s memory by naming his restaurant DBGB. That’s right Danny, God Save the Queen. Unfortunately, I missed the really good stuff, when the neighborhood was filthy and punk rock changed the world. But I did at least experience something a little different – before Mickey and Goofy cleaned up the streets and put in a gift shop.

Either way, Keith McNally is here now, and he’s brought his flagship Pastis over from the Magic Kingdom. What’s the difference between Pastis and Pulino’s? Pizza. Ultimately, this is just another McNally franchise, which is fine, but you better know what to expect before you eat. You aren’t coming here for a great New York pizza experience. You’re coming here to either stare at, or show off some ridiculous legs in a miniskirt, and God bless you for that. The pizzas are definitely decent, but this place is more about the scene and having a good time. We’ll go on record saying that we are totally cool with that…but let’s not shower the joint with Michelin Stars just yet. If you want to avoid the craziness but still get in on the action and get a table, we recommend rolling up at about 10:45 on a Friday night. The bar will still be bumping, but you should sit quickly, and at midnight they begin serving a limited number of killer late night burgers. Part of us definitely wishes there was still some grit to the area, but another part of us is also just fine with late night food and miniskirts. Maybe Disney World isn’t so bad after all.

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When East Side Social Club opened at the end of last year, it did so amidst a lot of hype, especially for a Midtown restaurant. The Employees Only pedigree and old-school Italian dining club vibe certainly helped create some of that chatter. But people were definitely throwing things around like this is “the Waverly Inn of Midtown” or “the accessible alternative to Monkey Bar.” After spending some time here, our experience is that East Side Social Club is neither of those things. What it is however, is a decent option for dinner and/or drinks if you’re stuck in Midtown, and a fantastic place to watch cougars hammer back drinks in the company of business dudes and European tourists (the restaurant is attached to the Pod Hotel, which is basically an upscale hostel). It’s also a place that, unlike Waverly or Monkey Bar, you will actually be treated well. Everyone from manager on down to busboy has been incredibly attentive and welcoming on our visits, and that goes a long way in our book. There are a few great dishes on the menu, and the wine list is decent. For us, that’s enough to flag East Side Social Club as an Infatuation Approved option for Midtown East. Just don’t get suckered into paying fifteen bucks for one of their specialty drinks. They aren’t worth it.

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I am pretty sure we have said this in other reviews, but I think it’s worth mentioning again. In no circumstance is it OK to have a set of turntables in a restaurant. Ever. I understand that there are people in this world who love nothing more than a sweet remix, but DJ Skrizz does not belong at dinner.

The reason we bring this up is because it has presented us with a conflict when it comes Il Bagatto. This is a really good East Village Italian restaurant that we used to hit up often for upbeat drunk dinners and the occasional date. It’s a dark yet lively space with a great downstairs bar and a few excellent menu items. Unfortunately, Il Bagatto has also become home to super long waits, obnoxious patrons, and a guy downstairs on the ones and twos trying to beat mix Rhianna into Men at Work. We’ve dealt with annoying crowds before, but for god’s sake don’t encourage them.

At the end of the day, we’re not recommending that you stay away from Il Bagatto entirely. Just know what you’re walking into during prime time hours. Things can be more sedate early in the week, and it’s honestly worth a visit just for the grilled calamari. Otherwise, there are plenty of other great Italian restaurants in the area, including Il Posto Accanto right next door.

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Let’s be honest, if you’re going to go to Gemma, you’re not going for the food, you’re going for the scene. If you’re looking to have an amazing romantic dinner with some of the best Italian food this city has to offer, keep looking (we strongly suggest Max in the East Village). However, if you’re looking to go out with a big group, celebrate a birthday, and have a really good time, this is perfect. The food isn’t terrible, it’s just not the main attraction here. We had a couple of solid dishes that were appropriately priced, and left happily full with no regrets. There are a lot of big spaces in the back which are set up perfectly for large parties. The place has a great vibe, an amazing drink menu, and is as lively as any place east of the Meat Packing district. After dinner, The Library Bar at the Bowery Hotel is a perfect spot for a drink, as is Von, an Immaculate Infatuation favorite on Bleecker and Bowery.

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There’s a difference between a local spot to grab a quick, convenient bowl of pasta, and pasta worth travelling for. That being said, we won’t disown our friends who live in the building upstairs and offered up Novita as a suggestion. God knows I’ve routinely eaten some slop over the years just because it was easy, but I wouldn’t recommend that slop to my friends. If you live in the neighborhood, Novita is a nice local hang with great service and reasonable food; we just wouldn’t recommend going out of your way for it.

We knew going in that Novita attracted an older, more sophisticated crowd, and as expected, we looked like preschoolers compared to the other clientele. While some of the food was certainly good enough, we were expecting more. The damage was $80 a head (with a couple glasses of wine each), unfinished plates of pasta, and six people in need of a bathroom immediately. Also, it doesn’t help their cause that BLT Prime sits in plain sight across the street. All I could think about the entire meal (except for how awesome it was when our waiter said “oct-ooo-pusss” in his amazing accent) were BLT’s holy popovers.

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