The self-proclaimed “first pizzeria in America,” Lombardi’s has long been at the top of the list for tourists looking for a taste of real New York City pizza. Rightfully so, as this Neapolitan style coal oven pizza is top-rate. Unfortunately, to get a taste you’ll have to wait in line behind the gaggles of people being dropped off by the double-decker bus load. The room is Little Italy meets The Olive Garden, and the staff in front sport headsets, which must help keep the place from falling into chaos … that or it makes the guys eating with their Bluetooth earpiece in feel a little more at home. Either way, it’s worth making the trip and waiting it out every once in a while. A word to the wise, don’t sleep on the clam pizza. And make sure you don’t get any sauce on your foam Statue of Liberty crown.
Whether you realize it or not, you’ve probably eaten a ton of Sullivan St. Bakery’s bread. Over 250 of New York City’s restaurants and markets serve this fine yeast, from Babbo to Dean & Deluca to Murray’s Cheese. When you dominate NYC’s dough scene, why not start a pizza joint? Co. (aka Company) is the hip, quasi-new addition to the Sullivan St. Bakery monopoly, and features a more complete menu than other next level pizza-throbs like Motorino and Keste. While the pizza is damn tasty, it’s not of the traditional variety. It arrives in awkward shapes and plays out more like awesome bread with toppings than actual pizza…which is by no means a bad thing.
Muzzarella has long been an Immaculate Infatuation favorite. We’ve been coming here for years, and even though it’s not the most consistent when it comes to quality, we keep coming back. Why? When Muzzarella is good, it’s damn good. The whole pies usually deliver really well, and their chicken, tomato, and onion slice is one of our favorite things in the entire city. The standard cheese slice is solid, though could use a little more crisp on the crust and the lasagna slice is a unique offering and cult favorite. Yes, it’s true that Muzzarella is a grimy hole in the wall, and yes, we’ve seen rodents out front so big that they could operate the cash register, but that chicken slice at 2am is really hard to beat.
Come on people, this is completely out of control. It’s Thursday night at 2:30am and there’s a line forty deep for a slice of pizza? That’s just stupid. At the painfully slow rate Artichoke moves, that’s at least an hour wait. By the slice, pizza is supposed to be that cheap, quick fix, but Artichoke is neither. I totally hopped on board the ‘choke bandwagon when it opened, and was pushing it on people non-stop. After all, how could I resist hyping up a hot new slice right next to my apartment? Unfortunately, there was trouble in paradise, and I soured on this place faster than Tony Romo on an ever expanding Jessica Simpson.
My beef with Artichoke is three-fold. First, I absolutely can’t stand Artichoke’s deliberately slow operation. At first, fine, bask in the glory of your 24/7 line. It’s new. Everyone wants a piece. I get it. But to continuously operate like this is infuriating. Hell, even when it’s empty, it still takes fifteen minutes to get a slice! Is it too much to ask to just have hot pies ready to roll? Adding insult to injury, when you finally make it to the front, you’re hardly taken care of. The dudes behind the counter are more concerned with singing along to “Smells Like Teen Spirit” than getting your order correct. Keep a keen eye on what’s going on, follow your slice from the pie to the oven and then into the box to ensure they get it right. Lastly, the prices keep going up. For the signature Artichoke slice $4 isn’t out of line, but pricing the others at $3.50 is a lot to ask. $7-8 for two slices? That’s not cheap.
So, strike one for line enabling, strike two for poor customer service, and strike three for the non-recession friendly rates. When you take these things into account, Artichoke’s rating takes a huge hit before we’ve even had a chance to eat anything. That being said, the pizza is great, and as much as I’d like to write off Artichoke and never return, that’s not going to happen. I’m just not lining up for it ever again.
Feature: Infatuation TV: P.O.S.
