In fairness to the Momofuku Ko system, it’s actually a very democratic, albeit competitive process for securing a reservation. No special treatment, no secret phone number, just log onto the website and pray that one of the 70 available dinner seatings for the week will be open. Repeat. Should you manage to secure a reservation, this is what you need to know. It’s going to be an expensive meal. It’s $125 per person just to eat dinner, and drinking will cost you quite a bit more. That hefty price tag affords you very little in the way of traditional luxuries. No white tablecloths (no tables, actually), no doting waiters, and no busboys with breadcrumb scrapers. Just a front row seat to some of the most creative cooking you can find anywhere…and some really good tunes. If you’re expecting fine dining for that kind of money and want to show off your new boat shoes at dinner, allow us to suggest Eleven Madison Park. We love that place too. But if you’re looking to put a notch in your culinary experience belt, Momofuku Ko has to be on your list. Good luck getting in.

Photo Credit: Noah Kalina

Food Rundown:

Our standard food rundown seemed inappropriate for a Momofuku Ko meal. Part of the experience is sitting down and having your mind blown by the unexpected. Plus it doesn’t seem fair to rave about something that may or may not be on the menu when you visit. However, there are a few things that will definitely happen that we can touch on.

You will have somewhere in the neighborhood of ten to twelve courses.

One of those courses will have frozen, grated foie gras on it.

You will like that.

Some things will be simple and delicate, others bold and complex.

There is an arc to the meal – the best things will come in the middle.

A least three things that you eat will confuse you and at the same time make you very happy.

At least one dessert will be served (we had two).

Food Rundown:

Butterhead Lettuce Salad
As discussed, meals at Back 40 start strong. The butterhead lettuce is similar to bibb lettuce. This salad is well dressed in a white balsamic and the shallots taste like candy. It’s also got a great name.

Summer Corn Soup
My favorite part of the meal, this corn soup was done right. Served cold with lime and chili oil, the combination of flavors was both refreshing and exciting. Excellent soup.

Summer Succotash
Here’s where the bottom starts to drop out. This summer veggie mash-up of corn, romano beans, tomatoes and squash sounded great of paper, but this came out a little slimy and kind of gross. Avoid it.

Grilled Catskill Trout
Speaking of gross…the trout came highly recommended from our waitress as the best fish swimming out of the kitchen. Sadly, it was a little bland, a little fishy and quite underwhelming.

Lemon and Coriander Rubbed Roast Chicken
More bad news. This chicken dish looked like something you bring home from Boston Market. It was greasy, oily and didn’t settle well in the belly. Not even the crispy smashed red potatoes and cipollini onions it was served with couldn’t save this dish.

Grass Fed Burger
This burger had the complexion of ET: a little gray, kind of gloomy and absolutely not something you want to put in your mouth. Since I went in thinking this could be awesome, it was a pretty big let down. Also, the rosemary fries were so-so. Oh well. You want a burger on Ave B? Head down the block to Royale.

The Red and Black
We’ll close this review up on a high note. This Red and Black drink is incredible, so incredible that I’m now making them for myself at home. Tequila, strawberries, black pepper and lime. Trust me, you’ll dig this.

Surf Lodge has single-handedly changed the Hamptons’ nightlife game. It used to be that if you wanted to seriously get after it on the East End, you were either battling the lines and generally awful people at Pink Elephant (RIP, finally), or getting really dirty at The Point. Thanks to Surf Lodge and their awesome indoor/outdoor set up and no doorman policy, the only problems we run into here are huge crowds, bathroom lines and too many hot chicks. For those looking for night of potential Drunk Hook Ups, this is your spot. Speaking of Drunk Hook Ups, our boy Sam here is the first Friday Fives participant to have the balls to select that category from the “Perfect For” list. Nicely done.

Sam’s “Perfect For” Picks

BYOB

Duryea’s (65 Tuthill Rd. – Montauk, NY 11954) – “The East End’s best view, hands down. On a clear day you can see forever. Enjoy great oysters, steamed lobsters etc, all while sipping back on some premium Budweisers from your own fridge.”

Date Night

Village Yokocho/Angel’s Share (8 Stuyvesant Street) – “Man, I hate giving stuff like this up because then everybody borrows some mojo from me. This Japanese restaurant is connected to the cocktail bar Angel’s Share in the back room. It’s very quirky and there’s so much going on. If it’s a first date and the conversation takes a turn for the worse, the room alone can speed things back up. After dinner, hope for the corner table by the window in Angel Share. Insane cocktails by super slick Japanese bartenders.”

Dining Solo

Tortilla Flats (767 Washington St.) – “That’s easy – Tortilla Flats. Everybody is so twisted on endless tequila shots you have like six new friends in 12 minutes.”

Drunk Hook Ups

“Please refer to Dining Solo section.”

Quality Fish

Kanoyama (175 2nd Ave.) – “Spectacular sushi and seafood. Out of this world, fresh and sexy.”

Bonus Round

Fine Dining

Le Bernardin (155 West 51st St.) – “Eric, Michael and the rest of their team are the best around. It shouldn’t even be a question. “

Serious Take-Out Operation

Republic (37 Union Square West) – “Out East, I crave noodles all the time. Republic is the best for a quick noodle fix. There’s no fuss, they just get it done. “

Sam’s Twitter People

@stephencolbert – Because he is awesome.

@shitmydadsays – It makes me happy.

@kellyslater – Good surf links.

@thankgodisurf – Dave is my close friend and he can be hilarious sometimes…just sometimes – sorry Davey boy!

@sarahksilverman – She’s dirty, sexy and funny all rolled into one.

Photo Credit: Marc Anthony

Food Rundown:

Veggie Burger
I don’t do veggie burgers, but my better half is quite the aficionado and she and her friends have been freaking out over this one since they were in college at NYU over a decade ago. It must be good.

Tunisian Eggs
My personal go-to here: eggs over easy served atop sauteed spicy peppers and tomatoes with home fries and pita. If you love peppers in your eggs, this is your dream dish. If not, this aint for you.

Eggs Blackstone/Eggs Florentine
Orlin poaches a damn fine egg. My two favorites are both listed under the brunch specials: Eggs Blackstone and Eggs Florentine. The Blackstone is bacon, sauteed tomatoes, poached eggs and hollandaise. The Florentine is sauteed spinach, poached eggs and hollandaise. They’re both great and the hollandaise sauce is spot on.

Brioche French Toast
Not my favorite French Toast, but it gets the job done. I’ve had experiences here where it comes out a little dry and overcooked, so I usually skip the french toast and focus on the eggs.

Warm Mozzarella Sandwich
A fixture on their brunch, lunch and dinner menu, this fan-favorite is a scrumptious combination of portobello mushrooms, spinach and sundried tomato puree on baguette.

Hummus Plate
I’m not the hummus expert around these parts, that title goes to Stang. Kid actually bottles his own secret recipe around Christmas and gives them out to his favorite people. Be nice and you might get some this year. Anyway, the Orlin hummus is damn good, and I think even humus snobs like Stang would appreciate.

Roasted Goat Cheese Salad
All their salads are good, but this is the consensus favorite and an excellent light bite. The roasted medallions of goat cheese are quite tasty and the toasted walnuts taste like candy.

People go Justin Bieber crazy over Milk Bar. They’ve either got the fever, checking back daily for the new soft serve flavors and vying with Nathan A. for foursquare mayorship . Or, they despise the place and every wannabe food blogger/poser that’s obsessed with it. In the beginning, The Infatuation was split. I was incredibly skeptical. On the flip side, Stang had (and still has) a boner the size of Florida for the stupid rotating soft serve flavors and compost cookies – which are trademarked, just in case you needed to know that. The menu thought you did. Personally, I think the ice cream flavors are ridiculous. Jelly Doughnut? Cream Cheese Frosting? Peach Tea? They’re trying a little too hard here and the majority of the fruit flavors taste like soft serve cough medicine. I’m more of a traditionalist. I like my chocolate chip cookies without cornflakes and marshmallows, my soft serve from Mister Softee with rainbow sprinkles and my birthday cake made of ice cream instead of hippie goo-bars and frosting. Over time, I learned to check my aforementioned traditional palate at the door and accept these crazy dessert creations with an open mind. With every passing day I warm up to Milk Bar more and more. The cookies and cakes seem to get better with each visit, but it’s the pies that helped me turn the corner. Both the Crack Pie and Candy Bar Pie are incredible and reason enough to wait on line.

Changes have negatively affected Milk Bar recently. They stopped serving slices of the pies and cakes, forcing people to buy the whole thing instead. Apparently, at $5 a slice, they weren’t making enough profit. Customer outrage led to the restoration of pie slices (not cake), at $5.25 a slice. D.Chang really needed that extra quarter I guess. Even worse, they pulled the breakfast pork and egg bun off the menu which is brutal. That enormous pork bun was a staple in my hangover rotation. To sum this all up: Milk Bar gets a full review and bonus points for buns, negative points for bad ice cream and messing around with the menu, but that’s all forgotten thanks to the Crack Pie.

Photo Credit: Eater.com

Food Rundown:

Cakes
The Chocolate Chip Cake doesn’t taste at all how it looks. That vanilla frosting you see is actually passion fruit curd, which is too intense for us. We prefer the Banana Cake (banana cream, hazelnut crunch, gianduja fudge) or even the over the top, sugar rush city Birthday Cake (rainbow cake crumble, sprinkles, vanilla frosting).

Soft Serve
Flavors rotate every couple weeks, so don’t fall to hard for one because it’ll be gone in no time. As discussed above, we find most of the fruit flavored ice cream to be close to inedible. But there are definitely some winners on occasion, usually in the form of cereal flavors. Fruity Pebbles is a hit, as is Honeycomb and we’re even suckers for their popular Cereal Milk flavor. The cornflake crunch topping aint half bad either.

Pies
Crack Pie, easily one of the greatest creations in the history of the world. Pie crust filled with an amazing caramel flavored butter pie. So f’ing good. Also, that chocolate crusted Candy Bar Pie doesn’t suck either.

Cookies
I’ve been known to bitch about the fact that their marshmallow and corn flake cookies are too cute, too oily and overall just too complex for a basic chocolate chip cookie. I eat my words when handed a piping hot one, fresh out of the oven. That’s how their Cornflake Choc Chips are meant to be eaten. Their Compost cookies aren’t my thing, but apparently the rest of the world loves them and their pretzels, potato chips, coffee, oats, butterscotch and chocolate chips. Peanut butter fans should definitely mess around with the Peanut Butter Cookie and the newest addition to the mix, the Confetti Cookie is a good time as well.

Pork Buns
Full buns write-up in the Momofuku Ssäm review. I was going to copy and paste it in here, but this review is already way too long.

The reason we bring this up is because it has presented us with a conflict when it comes Il Bagatto. This is a really good East Village Italian restaurant that we used to hit up often for upbeat drunk dinners and the occasional date. It’s a dark yet lively space with a great downstairs bar and a few excellent menu items. Unfortunately, Il Bagatto has also become home to super long waits, obnoxious patrons, and a guy downstairs on the ones and twos trying to beat mix Rhianna into Men at Work. We’ve dealt with annoying crowds before, but for god’s sake don’t encourage them.

At the end of the day, we’re not recommending that you stay away from Il Bagatto entirely. Just know what you’re walking into during prime time hours. Things can be more sedate early in the week, and it’s honestly worth a visit just for the grilled calamari. Otherwise, there are plenty of other great Italian restaurants in the area, including Il Posto Accanto right next door.

Food Rundown:

Calamari Alla Griglia
Under no circumstance do you skip this. A beautiful plate of grilled calamari with some greens and a few lemon wedges. The calamari has a nice char on it and is perfect. This makes the fried stuff seem like cafeteria food.

Padellata di Cozze Coltivate
Decent mussels that come in a strong garlic and white wine broth, which we’re always a fan of. Honestly, not a dish that will blow you away, but a decent starter.

Gnocchetti Verdi Blu
We have never had gnocchi quite like this. These are bright green spinach gnocchi coated in a fantastic gorgonzola sauce. If you’re into blue cheese, order this.

Fusilli Campagnola Fusilli
A great homemade pasta in with sausage, tomato, and cream sauce. Another one of our favorites here.

Sunday Lasagna Special
A ten layer meat lasagna that is only served on Sundays. Yet another reason to skip the prime-time crowds. Also, this lasagna is a proven remedy for both hangovers and diets.

Asher is currently recording a new record and has moved to NYC where he resides in the East Village, and happens to frequent some of The Infatuation’s favorite spots. Check his restaurant picks below and be sure to follow Asher on Twitter and check out his new augmented reality website, asherrothmusic.com.

Asher’s “Perfect For” Picks

Neighborhood Hang

Lil’ Frankies (21 1st Ave.) – “I pretty much come here every day to grab pizza. The Salame Piccante is my go-to pie. You gotta get some greens too – their fresh arugula is the jam.”

Good Vibes

The Smile (26 Bond St.) – “It’s all in the name. Love the granola for breakfast, but the real move for me is the roast beef sandwich. It’s ridiculous. Love that spot. “

Warm Weather Dining

Café Habana (17 Prince St.) – “For Warm Weather Dining we take a trip to South America to hang with the Habana girls. The move here is absolutely the chicken breast entree with the rice and beans, and you gotta be sure to put some hot sauce on that. “

Quick Eats

Caracas Arepa Bar (91 E. 7th St.) – “We’ll stay in South America for Quick Eats and grab arepas at Caracas. When we have to make a quick decision on what we want, this is the move. All the arepas are dope – the chicken and avacado one (Reina Pepiada) is the bomb. There’s a shredded beef with cheese, sweet plantains and beans (De Pabellón) that’s amazing as well. “

Dinner With The Parents

Hotel Griffou (21 West 9th St.) – “Part of the reason I moved to NYC was to stay close to the family. When the parents come in town for dinner, we go to Hotel Griffou. They change the menu all the time, but a couple staples that you gotta get after are the Lobster Thermidor Fondue and the Pork Cutlets. The name for our new mixtape – Seared Foie Gras with Quince and Cranberry (which you can download HERE) was actually inspired by Griffou’s foie gras.”

Asher’s Twitter People

@BrainBangley – We call him the hype beast – he’s the best hype man ever. He’s the next Spliff Star (Busta Rhymes’ infamous hype man).

@boyderyo – Utility man extraordinaire and creative life enjoyer.

@wreckineyez – One of the best scratch and blend DJ’s on the planet.

@jasonsalvador – Our loud mouth road manager.

@alanthechemist – The funniest and most clever person on twitter.

It wasn’t until recently that we figured out D&C was more than just a place to grab a libation or two. You can actually have an excellent meal as well. Think of it as tapas joint the resembles a wedding cocktail hour: American classics that go quite well with a drink shaken or stirred. The kitchen paces itself well, so dishes come out one at a time, and they give you a chance to enjoy your drink as well as the food. After a long day, a Robert Johnson Swizzle (single barrel bourbon, lime juice, 10yr port, vanilla syrup and more) with a side of truffle mac n cheese is exactly what the doctor ordered.

Food Rundown:

Tuna Tartare
Some of the best tuna tartare we’ve had in recent memory and a steal at twelve bucks – it’s a nice amount of food. The tuna has a really nice spicy kick, and it’s served with homemade kettle corn chips that are stupid good. Get this.

Truffle Mac & Cheese
When we sent out a tweet from Death & Co, we got like 6 replies all saying some version of “holy crap the mac and cheese spoons are off the chain!” The people are never wrong. Indeed, this stuff is chronic. Served on individual spoons, this mac with aged cheddar and truffle bread crumbs hits the spot.

Seared Petite Filet Mignon
A pleasantly surprising ditty of a steak. The meat has a great seared crust on it, and for sixteen dollars, we aren’t complaining. This is really good, and could easily fill up one not-so-starving person.

Lobster Brioche Rolls
Three lobster sliders served on toasted brioche rolls. These bad boys were a great compliment to the Grass Kilt (coconut green tea-infused grouse scotch, lemon juice, pineapple juice, acacia honey syrup, cinnamon syrup) I was sipping when they rolled out of the kitchen. Now, this isn’t the purist Luke’s Lobster approach – this is more of a chicken salad type of lobster salad as the lobster bits are mixed in equal parts with crunchy jicama, apple and fennel slaw. They’re little mini lobster sandwiches, and they’re good.

Wild Mushroom Tart
Sautéed mushrooms with caramelized onion pesto and walnuts on top of a pastry tart. Surprisingly tasty, and definitely a good drinking snack.

There’s plenty of ramen in the East Village these days, and no shortage of opinions on where to go. We happen to believe that Rai Rai Ken sits near the top of the heap, mostly because that shoyu ramen is so good, but also because it’s inexpensive and simple. It’s one of our favorite places for Dining Solo on a Saturday afternoon. We don’t, however, recommend trying to go during prime lunch or dinner hours. The whole restaurant is about fifteen seats, all at a counter, and they’re almost always taken. If you do give it a shot, the good news is that turnover is pretty quick, and you have plenty of other ramen options around the ‘hood as a backup plan.

Food Rundown:

Gyoza
Fried pork and vegetable dumplings that are paper thin and fried perfectly so that the bottom is crispy but the wrapper stays soft and delicate everywhere else. They’re a little greasy, but we’re cool with that.

Shoyu Ramen
The mythified soy based ramen with a big hunk of pork, nori, egg, and a fish cake. It also has some spinach in it, and the broth is a bit richer than what you might find at other ramen joints (excluding Ippudo). Good for your hangover and your wallet.

Miso Ramen
Also good, this one is miso based with some chicken, sprouts, sesame seeds and other goodness. Not quite as satisfying as the shoyu, but if you like miso ramen, you won’t be dissapointed.

Mabo Tofu Ramen
This is a big bowl of soy broth with tofu, ground pork, scallion, ginger and a spicy chile sauce. We love it, but the spicy chile sauce is a strange consistency, almost like the seeds of a tomato. Might be off-putting to some.

Food Rundown:

Monte Cristo
A triple-decker brunch sandwich of ham, turkey and swiss cheese that’s battered, deep fried and served with fried eggs and jelly. It’s worth the hefty price tag, the long wait and the food hangover you’re going to take after inhaling it. We back this.

Classic Eggs Benedict
Perfect poached eggs – you really can’t go wrong here. You know that ideal weekend breakfast you dream about to help you wash away the sorrows of the week? This is it. Served with english muffins, hollandaise sauce, Canadian bacon and potatoes rosti…this is one slammin’ breakfast plate.

Roasted Marrow Bones
Three hot bones served with toasted bread, parsley, onion salad and sea salt. Scoop the marrow out of the bone with the back of a spoon, spread it across the bread, add a bit of salt and prepare for a rich, tasty adventure. As is the case with most bone marrow, excellent presentation.

Grilled Oysters
Damn tasty. I hadn’t had grilled oysters in a while, and these plump, juicy explosions hit the spot.

Steamed Mussels
Some of the biggest, baddest and most flavorful mussels we’ve ever come in contact with. Rich, orange and off our very own coast of Long Island, we highly recommend diving into these. Served in an excellent lobster broth and some ridiculous bread for dunking purposes.

Seared Duck Breast
I’m a little spoiled when it comes to duck these days. If it’s not really well prepared, it’s probably not worth ordering. Sadly, this duck was a little boring and slightly underwhelming. That being said, I still cleared my plate.

Whole Grilled Branzino
This was just ok. Even with the minimal and simple presentation, the fish in it’s naked glory didn’t impress.