Immaculate Infatuation

I once saw a man at Shake Shack, dressed in a suit and setting a formal table. On the small metal table he placed a white tablecloth, fine silverware, a candle, and some flowers. For a moment, I was overcome with joy at the beautiful event that was about to unfold before me … this man was about to propose to a burger.

Unfortunately, a woman soon arrived and the man instead professed his undying love for her. Nonetheless, I was inspired, and had learned something important. I now realized that I could live a fulfilled and happy life devoted to a single hamburger – The Shack Burger.

There are two lessons to be learned from this story. First, Shake Shack is the burger by which all other New York City burgers are to be measured. This is hamburger perfection, and the epic lines are the only thing preventing weekly Infatuation visits. Second, there is a huge badass somewhere out there that proposed to his girlfriend over a burger and fries. Well done sir.

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Even before we reached media mogul/baller status here at Immaculate Infatuation, Bar Stuzzichini has always welcomed us with VIP treatment. While we like to believe that this is a direct result of our indelible charm and a general awareness that we would soon be making it rain, we will concede that the place is usually half empty. That said, I personally have had experiences visiting a restaurant on a slow night and being treated like a Swine Flu patient (see Shang), and also to be fair, the dining room at Bar Stuzz is pretty large. What really makes Bar Stuzzichini a staple though are a few superstar dishes, a well priced wine list, and a varied menu that has both small plates and entree size portions with something for everyone at the table. Put it all together and you’ve got the perfect spot for a large group meal, or just to stop in and feel like you own the joint.

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You love getting dirty on some BBQ? You’ll love Hill Country. It’s lower Manhattan’s biggest and baddest Texas style meat market. Think Disneyland in terms of barbeque. The sprawling, two level space is packed with hungry patrons every night of the week, and has quickly become the Mecca of all NYC BBQ. The front area is a little small and usually way too stuffed, so make sure you hit the big downstairs bar while you wait for your table. Hill Country is a great big group style destination. A personal drawback on my end is the live music downstairs. Is it really necessary to have C-rate Country/Bluegrass/Americana artists playing while you eat? Does that really make the whole experience more authentic? I think not. Now, let’s talk about the food. Overall, it’s solid but personally I think it’s a little overrated. I like a nice meaty beef rib. While their ribs are huge, there’s usually a lot more bone than meat and you have to work hard to get it off. My current favorite rib in the city is at Georgia’s on the LES where the meat is practically falling off the bone. My favorite BBQ attraction is brisket and while Hill Country has actually been written up as having some of the best brisket around, a lot of us at our table found it to be just too dry for our liking. It’s got nothing on Blue Smoke’s brisket. That said, the pork shoulder and pork ribs are both excellent and the whole chickens are very tasty. Also, the fact it’s serve yourself place is great so you can get a little bit of everything.

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It has come to our attention that surprsingly few people that we know, know about Les Halles. Even card carrying Infatuation Platinum Diners rarely speak of the place, which is curious, because it’s our kind of restaurant. It’s simple, it’s inviting, and what they do, they do well.

Now, ask anyone with basic cable and spice rack about Bobby Flay and they should be able to spit out something about Mesa Grill…maybe even Bar Americain. But ask those same people about Anthony Bourdain, and unless they read Kitchen Confidential, I doubt you’ll hear much about Les Halles. Bourdain spent many years as the restaurant’s executive chef, and it’s still his “home base” according to the restaurant. So, if you count yourself among those who haven’t been, allow us to elaborate.

If what you know of Bourdain is entirely based on No Reservations, you might expect that a restaurant under his watch would be all about ethnic food, random animal parts, and booze (which, now that I think about it, would be amazing). But Les Halles is a straightforward French bistro, and it’s all about the steaks and the fries. The important thing to know if you’re going is this: don’t fuck around. Don’t go if you’re planning to skip the red meat and order a salad and a piece of salmon. Don’t go if you’re expecting four star French service and finger sandwiches. Go if you’re hungry for a steak and feel like working on a mid-day wine buzz. That’s how you do it.

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A few things to note before we get into it. First, this is a review of the Boqueria on 19th St., not of the newer SoHo location, and not of both. Boqueria Soho has a different dynamic and clientele. Second, let us preface this by saying that we’ve been coming to Boqueria for a while now, and we generally enjoy the place. The only problem we have is that it’s slowly becoming to Spanish food what Sushi Samba is to Japanese. What does that mean exactly? It means that it’s on the short list of venues for Girls Night Out, and that the food is hit or miss. Don’t get us wrong, we’re absolutely fine with going to a restaurant loaded with girls, but consistency is what we crave and Boqueria seems to be all over the map these days. The best bets on the menu tend to be the more simple items like Brussels sprouts, pan con tomate, and anything with chorizo. The wine list is good and reasonably priced (plenty of bottles priced under forty dollars), and the churros are pretty excellent. Maybe even better than the ones that dude sells on the L train platform. At the end of the day, the good at Boqueria is definitely good, and if you stick to the right things, you’ll probably walk away happy. Then again, when we’re craving some Spanish food we’re probably headed to Bar Carerra, Mercat, or Casa Mono instead. For the purposes of this food rundown, we’re going to stick (mostly) to the stuff we liked.

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