Immaculate Infatuation

If there’s one cuisine whose hype is usually warranted, it’s pizza. Because of its universal nature, critics and “the people” will generally see eye to eye. At the end of the day most pizza is either fantastic or good enough and it doesn’t take a food expert to distinguish between the two. With these facts in mind, the Infatuation was fired up to investigate New York Mag’s declaration of Kesté as NYC’s best pie of the moment.

As anticipated, Kesté serves up some of the best pizza in town. We went during prime time and waited about half an hour for our table – the perfect amount of time to whet our appetites with a couple craft pints from the Blind Tiger down the block. Kesté doesn’t serve by the slice (unless you’re lucky and they hook you up with a taster slice for waiting), and while the pies are sized for one person to eat, you should come hungry and with friends. On our last visit, we each ordered our own pie and no slice was left uneaten. Kesté’s decor could use a little spruce up; the exposed brick almost looks fake, and the random artwork doesn’t add much to the vibe. They jam as many tables as possible into the small space and it’s hot as balls thanks to the open oven in the back. You know what though? I’m fine with Kesté concentrating their efforts on the food, and it pays off. I’d rather eat like a king at a dive than consume crap in a palace. Not that this place is a dive by any means, but you get my point.

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While we stand by our claim that there is not a more influential endorsement a restaurant can receive than one from this site, we’ll admit that a seated and former president can probably compete. If you’ve ever been to Il Mulino, you can probably guess that Bill Clinton was the one who picked the venue when he and Obama lunched there recently. Il Mulino is definitely a Slick Willy kind of place. The restaurant is a New York institution. An alpha-dog hot spot that most people around town will passionately defend as the best of it’s kind, even though the service is cold and the food heavy handed and extravagant. It’s a place that even though will piss you off at times, you still love it. The Bill Clinton of restaurants indeed.

Eating at Il Mulino is an exercise in tolerance. You’ll have to tolerate a lot to eat some good, though incredibly rich and over the top Itlaian food. The surly wait staff, impossible to secure reservations, ridiculously expensive everything – read a Zagat’s and it seems that all is forgiven with a little bit of Clintonesque charm. Il Mulino definitely isn’t an Immaculate Infatuation favorite, but as we do with Bill – we’ll give some credit where credit’s due.

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When it comes to this website, there are a few things that we believe in strongly – indisputable truths of the Immaculate Infatuation universe. Most of these tenets pertain to things that we believe will prevent you from Wasting Your Time and Money. The first and most important of those absolutes: any restaurant that employs a bouncer will inevitably suck. Today, however, we might have to make an exception to that rule, and we’re not particularly happy about it.

The Lion is a new joint opened by the chef from Waverly Inn and a bunch of other people you would only know if you a) spent too much time at Beatrice Inn or b) give a shit about who the “celebrity” investors are in a restaurant. Either way, this place is New York’s newest hot spot, and if you read all the other reviews, you’ll no doubt find a long list of A-listers recently sighted here. Exciting! But what has us considering an amendment to one of our beloved dining axioms is that despite all the baggage that comes along with a “scene” like this, the food at The Lion is actually pretty damn good. We’ve even found the place to be generally tolerable on all of our recent visits. Yes, tables can be hard to come by, and yes, it’s full of people who probably refer to themselves in the third person, but so far we’ve found the staff to be friendly and courteous. And while the quality of food and service are a bit surprising – what makes the biggest impression is the interior of the restaurant itself. The main dining area is an amazing two-story space that looks like the living room of a drug addled safari hunter/art collector (my dream job). It’s a pretty incredible place to eat your steak, and makes the hefty price tag a little more bearable. The bar in front is cozy and tavern-like, a perfect spot for sucking back dark and stormys and even possibly scoring a walk up table, especially if you arrive for dinner on the earlier side of the evening.

So while we can’t fully throw our full Infatuation approval behind a place that has a door guy out front, we have to admit that there is a lot to like about The Lion. Enough for us to make one exception to a big time rule…for now.

Photo Credit: Janelle Jones

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It would seem to us here at Immaculate Infatuation that the only way to properly assess the fawned over revival of the Minetta Tavern is to take aim directly at the ridiculous love fest that both the national and New York food media has had with the place. Let’s start here – everyone chill the f–k out.

I don’t want to start this review out with negativity, but it’s only fair that we discuss what has been said about Minetta. All the hype led us in with high expectations, as it would with anyone paying attention to the heavy hitters like The New York Times, New York Magazine, and The Food Network. It’s one thing to read a chorus of glowing reviews about a new restaurant online, but once Frank Bruni crowns Minetta Tavern “the best steakhouse in the city,” you should be expecting perfection. It’s also probably worth mentioning that Tyler Florence went off about the burger on the Food Network for a full half hour, but then again, anything that guy puts in his mouth on television is “fantastic.” That being said, here’s the Infatuation bottom line: while the food at Minetta Tavern is very good, it does not, and can not live up to all the hype. Is it the best steakhouse in New York? No way.

Our meal at Minetta was definitely satisfying, but there were some notable let-downs. The $26 Black Label Burger is excellent, and the cheaper Minetta Burger is also very good, but going to a place like this just for a burger seems counter-intuitive … a burger joint, this is not. For starters, there is a gigantic bouncer with a clip board at the door, and reservations at a decent hour are nearly impossible to secure. The room is appealing and the service is good, but an attempt at exclusivity diminishes the charm. If Minetta Tavern were a little cheaper, a little more accessible, and a little less Waverly Inn, it could be one of the great restaurants in New York for a long time to come. We’ll see if it can continue to thrive under the weight of such great expectations.

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After a great recent meal at Bar Carrera, it occurred to me that this review should somehow incorporate the idea that the little things in life usually end up being the most important … I just wasn’t sure if I should reference Malcolm Gladwell or Good Charlotte. References aside, Bar Carrera is an example of little things done right. The diminutive Spanish restaurant and wine bar turns out excellent small plates from a tiny kitchen at the back of the room. The menu is relatively brief, yet well thought out, especially considering the limitations of the kitchen in back – not unlike one you would see set temporarily set up on 5th Avenue for a Good Morning America cooking segment. Despite the constraints, Bar Carrera is proof that doing a few things well is enough to keep people coming back … even if it’s just a handful of killer small plates. We’ll give Bar Carrera points for excellent food, a great wine list, and for reminding us of Muggsy Bogues, and we deducted a few for the douchey bar tender and lack of decent tunes.

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