Immaculate Infatuation

Casellula is a “cheese and wine cafe”. Note the order of those words. If you’re looking for a wine bar with hundreds of varietals and rare finds, look elsewhere. In need of a dark place to take a date so she can’t tell that your hairline is in full retreat? Keep it movin’. Casellula is about the cheese first, all that other stuff second. So, if what you’re after is a laid back spot where you can get a raw milk goat cheese from Italy, this is your joint.

Casellula is a cozy little room in Hells Kitchen, run by some serious fromage lovers. The owner was once the head cheese guru at The Modern, something I discovered when I saw a congratulatory letter from Danny Meyer hanging in the bathroom. You might think something like that should be displayed in the office or over the bar, but I guess I did read it while I peed. Well placed. The cheese selection is vast and some are incredibly tasty, each priced at six bucks. Don’t do dairy? Casellula is also good for a glass of wine and a casual meal. There are some nice bites on the menu – specifically the Pig’s Ass Sandwich – but only the cheeses and desserts reach mind-blowing levels. Don’t miss the chocolate cake. It’s absolutely ridiculous.

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As you can imagine, Hell’s Kitchen can be a confusing answer to the question, “where should we have dinner?” Both the restaurant and the neighborhood from which it takes its name are a culinary unknown to most that don‘t live in the area. If you live there, chances are you constantly tell your friends about all the great restaurants you know about and yet you still can‘t get anyone to come eat with you. We are admittedly a little in the dark when it comes to Hell’s Kitchen neighborhood favorites, but working and seeing shows in the area demands that you have a go-to spot. Our go-to in Hell’s Kitchen is, well, Hell’s Kitchen.

The casual but hip restaurant is not an attempt at authentic Mexican, but rather an inspired interpretation using Latin flavors and fresh ingredients. Think Rosa Mexicano but far less annoying, and much better entrées. The dinner hours are always crowded and noisy, as a Mexican restaurant should be. Lunch is usually less busy and equally delicious, but Hell’s Kitchen is best enjoyed when the eating is accompanied with heavy tequila and beer drinking.

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Midtown wine bars are pretty high up there on the list of places you won’t find us hanging out. Why? Well, first of all, the majority of them are slightly less exciting than having a glass or two inside your local Pottery Barn. Second, we’re not so down with the menus rife with shitty pizzas and cubed cheese served on cutting boards. Oh and that fig thrown in next to the pile of Wheat Thins? Yeah, that’s not fooling anybody.

On the surface, Bocca di Bacco doesn’t look much different than any of those places. What is interesting, though, is that the food is actually very good. On the menu is an extensive offering of Italian small plates, pastas, and tasty full sized entrees to accompany all the wines that pour from a giant wine keggerator behind the bar. The crowd is a nice mix of Hell’s Kitchen’s hottest residents and some downtowners that know where to get good eats when they’re in the area. We went in on a Twitter recommendation and have now had two solid meals at Bocca di Bacco, along with some nice wines by the glass that didn’t put too bad of a hurting on the wallet. I’m glad we gave it a chance. The ridiculous house music on the website almost doomed it from the start.

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At first, I didn’t know what to make of Ardesia. Situated at the bottom of a giant new West Side condo, this place looks like something a developer thought up so they could add “wine bar” to the list of building amenities, right next to “rooftop pool”, and “monthly singles mixers”. But after a few (five) glasses of wine, and some food, it became apparent that there is much more going on here.

Ardesia is first and foremost a wine bar, and a good one at that. The food is decent, but it’s secondary to what they do best, which is selecting excellent “mineral-driven” wines from all over the world. There are a ton of options to order by the glass, the prices are reasonable, and the service is super friendly. Go to drink, but when you inevitably need some food to soak up the wine, stick to a few simple things on the menu like the cod cakes and the pretzels. It’s a good hang for sure, and a perfect place to kick it with a friend or get to know someone. Better put that singles mixer on your calendar.

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At first glance, this Hell’s Kitchen hole in the wall is as easy to overlook as any average midtown bodega. Inside, it’s actually not much different; a tiny dive of a space with condiments on the table and Bob Marley on the wall. Instead of peddling beer and cigarettes however, this joint deals in beef and poultry. The menu is insane – there are close to 40 different burger and chicken sandwich options, which generally makes us nervous. Places that dress their meat up every which way are usually trying to shield you from the truth – that the meat by itself is questionable. We’re not shocked at all to find that the burgers are just that.

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