Immaculate Infatuation

We’ve got a handful of spots that we like in Hell’s Kitchen, and there are definitely a few that we still need to hit up. But right now, Taboon is at the top of our list in the ‘hood. That says a lot for the food, considering the restaurant itself lacks most qualities of a typical Infatuation Approved establishment. It’s pricey and a little stuffy, and the music they play is an unlistenable combination of Greek lounge music and Yanni remixes. Oh yeah, and it’s on 10th Avenue. But what Taboon lacks in cool, it more than makes up for with top quality Mediterranean eats and good service.

A taboon is an Arabic word for a wood-burning oven, and the one in the front of this restaurant turns out some damn tasty food. Things that swim seem to benefit the most from the taboon treatment – all of the fish entrees here are excellent, and the octopus and crab salad appetizers should not be missed. They also bake an amazing fresh focaccia and serve it on a paddle, which I then use to jam the entire loaf down my throat at once. More please. Prices are a little steep, so Taboon probably shouldn’t be in your heavy rotation, but we recommend spending the extra bucks if you’re in the area looking for a solid meal.

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Casellula is a “cheese and wine cafe”. Note the order of those words. If you’re looking for a wine bar with hundreds of varietals and rare finds, look elsewhere. In need of a dark place to take a date so she can’t tell that your hairline is in full retreat? Keep it movin’. Casellula is about the cheese first, all that other stuff second. So, if what you’re after is a laid back spot where you can get a raw milk goat cheese from Italy, this is your joint.

Casellula is a cozy little room in Hells Kitchen, run by some serious fromage lovers. The owner was once the head cheese guru at The Modern, something I discovered when I saw a congratulatory letter from Danny Meyer hanging in the bathroom. You might think something like that should be displayed in the office or over the bar, but I guess I did read it while I peed. Well placed. The cheese selection is vast and some are incredibly tasty, each priced at six bucks. Don’t do dairy? Casellula is also good for a glass of wine and a casual meal. There are some nice bites on the menu – specifically the Pig’s Ass Sandwich – but only the cheeses and desserts reach mind-blowing levels. Don’t miss the chocolate cake. It’s absolutely ridiculous.

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We freak out over tacos. They’re constantly on the brain, and our quest to uncover tasty tacos around this city is never ending. In some other parts of the country, taco trucks and carts decorate street corners like Starbucks do here. In NYC, you have to dig a little harder. So when we come up with a quality find, it’s something to write home about. Get Up Kids style.

The good people of Infatuation Nation who constantly @immaculateinfat and email us with their suggestions led us to Tehuitzingo. Thank you guys, well done. It doesn’t look like much from the outside, but once through the storefront bodega, an oasis of hot sauce is uncovered. There are nearly twenty different taco options ranging from goat to beef tongue to pork to potatoes with jalapenos. There’s a little something for everyone. Order at the window, grab a 16oz Mexican Coke from the fridge, nosh on a stool and enjoy the ghetto grocery garden of fake flowers, inflatable Corona bottles and palm trees hanging from the rafters. This is our kind of spot.

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As you can imagine, Hell’s Kitchen can be a confusing answer to the question, “where should we have dinner?” Both the restaurant and the neighborhood from which it takes its name are a culinary unknown to most that don‘t live in the area. If you live there, chances are you constantly tell your friends about all the great restaurants you know about and yet you still can‘t get anyone to come eat with you. We are admittedly a little in the dark when it comes to Hell’s Kitchen neighborhood favorites, but working and seeing shows in the area demands that you have a go-to spot. Our go-to in Hell’s Kitchen is, well, Hell’s Kitchen.

The casual but hip restaurant is not an attempt at authentic Mexican, but rather an inspired interpretation using Latin flavors and fresh ingredients. Think Rosa Mexicano but far less annoying, and much better entrées. The dinner hours are always crowded and noisy, as a Mexican restaurant should be. Lunch is usually less busy and equally delicious, but Hell’s Kitchen is best enjoyed when the eating is accompanied with heavy tequila and beer drinking.

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Midtown wine bars are pretty high up there on the list of places you won’t find us hanging out. Why? Well, first of all, the majority of them are slightly less exciting than having a glass or two inside your local Pottery Barn. Second, we’re not so down with the menus rife with shitty pizzas and cubed cheese served on cutting boards. Oh and that fig thrown in next to the pile of Wheat Thins? Yeah, that’s not fooling anybody.

On the surface, Bocca di Bacco doesn’t look much different than any of those places. What is interesting, though, is that the food is actually very good. On the menu is an extensive offering of Italian small plates, pastas, and tasty full sized entrees to accompany all the wines that pour from a giant wine keggerator behind the bar. The crowd is a nice mix of Hell’s Kitchen’s hottest residents and some downtowners that know where to get good eats when they’re in the area. We went in on a Twitter recommendation and have now had two solid meals at Bocca di Bacco, along with some nice wines by the glass that didn’t put too bad of a hurting on the wallet. I’m glad we gave it a chance. The ridiculous house music on the website almost doomed it from the start.

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