Immaculate Infatuation

Just as we were swearing ourselves off the Meatpacking District for good, Bill’s Bar & Burger opens its doors and drags us right back in. Bill’s took over the space that used to be the Hog Pit, and even though we had a handful of good nights there somewhere around 2003, it was time for something new. Luckily, what took over the space is not another nightclub with a chef or restaurant with a DJ, but rather an excellent burger joint reminiscent of the great middle-of-nowhere dives around the country.

Bill’s burgers are griddle-top masterpieces with a low profile and a soft sesame seed bun, and they‘re definitely one of the best burgers in town. Variations on the standard include a burger with Anaheim chiles and an excellent homage to the In-N-Out classic. The prices are middle-of-nowhere cheap, and the service is laid back and friendly. We were especially pleased to find two well placed flat screens in the bar – perfect for discreetly watching a game while you house a burger or two.

At the end of the day, it’s probably a good thing for our health that Bill’s didn’t open in a neighborhood that we visit more frequently. Plus, that central Meatpacking location will make them a mint feeding all the drunks before they hop back in the limo and text their friends from a phone they dropped in the toilet. We’ll save our visits for afternoons.

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New York Magazine recently wrote up The Standard Grill under the title “Above Standard”. Well, guess what, we’ve got higher standards than that. While we loved spending a few hours blowing up Twitter with live commentary from that ridiculous scene, the bottom line is that the food at The Standard Grill is bad. This review almost got tagged with “perfect for: wasting your time and money“, but the decent pork chop and constant parade of cougars and euros in and out of the place were worth a handful of points. The restaurant is massive, and includes a wrap around patio in front and a beer garden on the side, complete with ping-pong tables and picnic bench seating. Perfect for mixing it up with the business casual dudes that have since abandoned Brass Monkey. It seems the Standard Grill is the new place to see-and-be-seen, whether you’re a nightclub socialite, a recent Wisconsin grad, or a Real Housewife of New Jersey. I’m sure that the food is good enough to keep those types coming back, but we expect more, and if you’re reading this website, chances are you do too. It’s going to take more than a bowl of chocolate mousse and three spatulas (see the food rundown) to get us throwing around accolades. Go spend your hard earned dollars on something satisfying.

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Life definitely doesn’t suck for Tom Colicchio right now. Thanks to his lead role on Top Chef, Colicchio’s personal brand is bigger than ever. He’s up there with Bobby Flay and Mario Batali as the most recognizable faces in the food game. Colicchio has built successful Craft restaurants everywhere from Atlanta to Las Vegas. Problem is, when you’re a chef spending all your time in the kitchen critiquing quick fires and trying not to blatantly stare at Padma’s jugs, you’re not actually cooking. Craft and Craftbar used to be home to some of the more sought after tables in NYC. Not anymore. Although both restaurants still do good business, they’re no longer the talk of the town. The only buzz Colicchio has made cooking lately has been his well received Tom: Tuesday Night dinner, a bi-weekly limited sitting in Craft’s private dining room at $150-200 a head. Realizing it was time to get back in the mix full-time, Collichio decided to shutter his struggling Craftsteak and re-open it as Colicchio & Sons. Tom’s back in the kitchen (it’s true, we saw him), only now he’s not cooking for 32 people; he’s got to feed a whole restaurant.

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