Immaculate Infatuation

Things happen when I go to LA. Dangerous things. Voices appear in my head, saying things like “oh yeah, you like the sun” and “of course you can eat In-N-Out again today”. When I am there, I am forced to imagine what a life on the other side could be like, and in my imagination, it could be good.

Luckily, there are a few downsides that beat those nasty thoughts into submission. The most convincing being the fact that I would miss New York’s restaurants too much. Not having a Blue Ribbon or a Frank at my disposal seems unimaginable, and quickly assures me that my tiny apartment and winter are small prices to pay. Then a friend took me to Animal.

Animal is the first restaurant in Los Angeles that I have been to that approaches food with the reckless will to be delicious that so many in New York do. This is not healthy LA restaurant food, and it sure as hell isn’t sceney sushi. Animal is about nose to tail, seasonal cooking with a full commitment to make everything taste unimaginably good. Restraint isn’t in this place’s vocabulary. Pig ears are sliced thin and doused with lime juice and chili, and just in case that isn’t enough, it gets topped with an egg. Gigantic slabs of steak are covered in butter and escargot. Look at that thing. Only in New York would you find something so good and irresponsible on a menu. So I thought.

Animal is exactly the kind of restaurant that we live for, and it’s in LA. Now every time I am there, I have to come up with other things to convince myself that life wouldn’t be awesome out west. Good thing Ed Hardy exists.

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I am completely obsessed with Ippudo. 100% over the top obsessed. Three reasons for my obsession in order: incredible pork buns, two for one Kirin special at the bar during weekday evenings, best ramen in the city. Ippudo is a well known chain in Japan, whose main game is ramen noodles. This is the restaurant’s first location to open outside of the homeland, and judging by the near one hour wait every time I go there (day or night), they are doing quite well. Ippudo does not take reservations, but there is almost always room at the bar to squeeze two bodies up to the counter and start sucking down Kirins while you wait. Though the front bar area is fairly humdrum, you will be surprised by the relatively large and slick space that is the dining room, which stands out in comparison to the minimalist Momofukus and the bare bones feel of the other East Village ramen joints. This place has a great, fun vibe (chefs in pajamas constantly yelling to the staff in Japanese), and the waiters are always polite and attentive.

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I’ve tried really hard to not order pork every single time I go here but it’s impossible. The Momofuku steamed pork buns might just be my favorite dish New York City has to offer, and the new addition of the BBQ rib sandwich? Are you kidding me? This thing is unbelievable! So there you go, two pork appetizers before we even get into the mains. Bottom line is, if you’re going to the Ssäm bar, you’re hanging out with Johnny McEnroe, drinking OB’s by the bottle (the only reasonably priced beer at five dollars – the Coors Light of South Korea) and eating a serious amount of pig. If you really want to take your pig consumption to the next level and are rolling deep, you can call ahead and have them prepare the $200 Bo Ssäm that easily feeds ten. It’s a whole butt served with a dozen oysters over kimichi, rice, and bibb lettuce. New Yorkers aren’t stupid. We wouldn’t voluntarily wait 45 minutes to an hour at David Chang’s Momofuku restaurants if the food wasn’t ridiculously amazing. Believe the hype, it’s worth the calories. The haters are just jealous.

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Much has been said, on this site and every other media outlet in New York City, about David Chang and his “Momofuku Empire”. While its true that there is a bit of an Infatuation man crush going on here, I will also be the first to admit that the Momofuku Noodle Bar does not always live up to the hype (how could it?). It can be pricey depending on how you order, and it’s not the easiest place to get a table. There are definitely other celebrated ramen establishments in the neighborhood that serve a cheaper bowl of noodles, but to visit Momofuku Noodle bar in hopes of spending 10 bucks on some soup is to miss the point altogether. What makes the place special are all those other things on the menu that keep me coming back for a bar seat at the open kitchen like I’m actually going to learn something (I won’t). Come for the fried chicken special, come because there is pork in damn near everything, come because they have a soft serve machine, and come because they have a solid beer list. Make an evening out of trying new things and you won’t leave disappointed. Steinthal and I may argue over whether Momofuku or Ippudo claim title to the best steamed pork bun in the city, but we both certainly agree that Momofuku Noodle Bar is an indisputable Infatuation favorite.

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Raoul’s is the shit. That’s really the only proper way to put it. If you can’t have a good time here, you probably can’t have a good time anywhere. This boisterous French bistro has been a Soho institution since the 70’s. It’s that awesome NYC restaurant depicted in your favorite Woody Allen flick, one that probably doesn’t exist in real life. Except it does and in reality it’s just as cool. Raoul’s is useful for a variety of different reasons. Having dinner with friends from out of town? They will feel the upbeat, lively vibe at Raoul’s. Double date with your favorite party couple who like to un-tuck, throw a couple back and grub hard? This is the place. Just be prepared to drop dollars. On the prowl after work with your favorite wing-man/wing-woman? There’s all kinds of good action here and a nice variety to choose from; a classy crowd of spunky ladies and well put together dudes. If you want to be all up in the mix, make sure to request a table in the front of the restaurant. For a more subdued good time, the back atrium through the kitchen is where it’s at. Time to talk food.

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