Immaculate Infatuation

I once witnessed Rachel Ray making it rain $100 bills in Peasant like she was Pacman Jones at a strip club. In her standard not-so-subtle way, she worked the room for everyone to see, slipping hundreds to the chef, waiter and even bus boy. I remember asking our server if I was seeing correctly. “Yeah man, she just slipped me an extra bill on top of the tip she left on the check. She does it all the time.” Hey, if you got it, spend it, right? Hopefully the Infatuation will be rolling into our favorite spots with duffle bags full of cash in the relatively near future. Until then, we’ll leave the balling to Rachel and Pacman.

Peasant is a classic spot, a spacious room that feels more like a rich person’s Tribeca loft than a Nolita restaurant down the block from Cafe Habana. Baskets of apples, potatoes, firewood and produce line the kitchen in the back, where everything is cooked over an open fire. The food is consistent in the sense that some dishes are always excellent and others always mediocre, but if you order right, you can have a solid meal. Whatever you do, eat the spaghetti vongole which will be gushed about in the food rundown below. While Peasant isn’t an Infatuation go-to, it’s definitely a spot we enjoy. The quality service, welcoming space and addicting bread help make up for Peasant’s hit-or-miss menu and inflated prices.

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At first, I didn’t know what to make of Ardesia. Situated at the bottom of a giant new West Side condo, this place looks like something a developer thought up so they could add “wine bar” to the list of building amenities, right next to “rooftop pool”, and “monthly singles mixers”. But after a few (five) glasses of wine, and some food, it became apparent that there is much more going on here.

Ardesia is first and foremost a wine bar, and a good one at that. The food is decent, but it’s secondary to what they do best, which is selecting excellent “mineral-driven” wines from all over the world. There are a ton of options to order by the glass, the prices are reasonable, and the service is super friendly. Go to drink, but when you inevitably need some food to soak up the wine, stick to a few simple things on the menu like the cod cakes and the pretzels. It’s a good hang for sure, and a perfect place to kick it with a friend or get to know someone. Better put that singles mixer on your calendar.

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Looking for a unique spot to impress on a First/Early In The Game date? If she likes wine and raw fish, Desnuda is your jam. This dark, South American inspired wine and ceviche bar has just eighteen seats, all at the bar. It’s intimate and low key, and the fish is fresh and priced right. There is no kitchen, which means you’ll have a front row seat as your food is prepared by a man who will also double as your bartender. Hopefully audience participation is something you’re comfortable with, as you may be called on to help your chef/bartender as he practices his “ghetto molecular gastronomy”. Ever seen someone smoke an oyster with a gravity bong made from a Sprite bottle? Didn’t think so. We’ll bet your date hasn’t either. This block of 7th St. is home to a lot of hot spots (see Porchetta, Luke’s Lobster, Caracas, Pylos), so let’s agree to keep Desnuda as it is – slightly under the radar, and your new secret weapon date spot.

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A “casual latino” eatery, Macondo claims its food is “Freestyle Latin”. I don’t like the word freestyle. It’s usually just a different way of saying “I’m making shit up”. It also makes me think of freestyle walking (not a sport), and every moron in college who owned an Eminem album and freestyle rapped at parties. Needless to say, I was not encouraged by their choice of words on the website. Luckily, Macondo was a good experience, minus a few stumbles. The restaurant is huge and lively on most nights, with a ton of big tables and some bar seats in front of the open kitchen. On my most recent visit (a slow night), I watched the kitchen staff spend twenty minutes experimenting with a blow torch on various dishes, only one of which was a brulee. Freestyle man. Nobody knows what’s going to happen next!

Stick to the tacos, the bocadillos, and pretty much anything with pork or beef and you’re in business. I am going to go out on a limb and guess you’ve never eaten Mofongo, but you need to. A few things on the menu were disappointing, but it’s a big menu with lots to choose from and they mix up some solid drinks which helps the cause. Overall we’re still partial to Mercadito Cantina and Yerba Buena for South of the Border cravings in the area, but we’ll happily hit Macondo for a quick one next time we’re in the neigborhood for a show.

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After being hyped on this place by friends and food media for the last year, I was pretty confident Aldea was going to be a John Starks over the entire Bulls team kind of slam dunk. Not the case. While some of their highly touted dishes – namely the sea urchin toast and duck paella – were certainly quite good, the rest of the food wasn’t nearly as impressive. Some of it even had to be sent back, and we rarely ever play that game.

Aldea pimps out their chef, George Mendes, New Orleans style. In NOLA, chef photos and accolades greet you at the front door and decorate restaurant walls, watching you eat. By the time your meal is finished, you know damn well that John Besh or Donald Link is the man that made it all possible. Aldea revolves its world around Mendes in a similar way. Our waiter must have dropped George’s name three or four times, and I guarantee he’s required to do that. It all feels a little desperate…if your food is that good, New Yorkers will recognize. No need to shove it in our faces. Despite all the name dropping, Aldea is a very comfortable eating environment. We lucked out and got the best seat in the house, the back booth right in front of the kitchen, which you should absolutely request when you’re making a reservation. Overall, we’re not saying Aldea is a bad restaurant, it just doesn’t live up to all the hype. We’ll go back sometime, we’re just not in any rush.

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