A “casual latino” eatery, Macondo claims its food is “Freestyle Latin”. I don’t like the word freestyle. It’s usually just a different way of saying “I’m making shit up”. It also makes me think of freestyle walking (not a sport), and every moron in college who owned an Eminem album and freestyle rapped at parties. Needless to say, I was not encouraged by their choice of words on the website. Luckily, Macondo was a good experience, minus a few stumbles. The restaurant is huge and lively on most nights, with a ton of big tables and some bar seats in front of the open kitchen. On my most recent visit (a slow night), I watched the kitchen staff spend twenty minutes experimenting with a blow torch on various dishes, only one of which was a brulee. Freestyle man. Nobody knows what’s going to happen next!

Stick to the tacos, the bocadillos, and pretty much anything with pork or beef and you’re in business. I am going to go out on a limb and guess you’ve never eaten Mofongo, but you need to. A few things on the menu were disappointing, but it’s a big menu with lots to choose from and they mix up some solid drinks which helps the cause. Overall we’re still partial to Mercadito Cantina and Yerba Buena for South of the Border cravings in the area, but we’ll happily hit Macondo for a quick one next time we’re in the neigborhood for a show.

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Local pig farmers must have thrown the biggest barnyard rager ever when news broke that The Spotted Pig‘s Ken Friedman and April Bloomfield were ditching their failed fish experiment, The John Dory, and headed back to the swine. Everyone on the Internet certainly paid attention. Hands down, The Breslin was the single-most hyped restaurant opening of 2009. Like college kids camped out before Bonnaroo, hungry food bloggers set up shop in the Ace Hotel lobby for weeks, drinking Porkslap Pale Ale and sleeping on couches as they typed, tweeted and texted The Breslin’s every move.

Not to say that we weren’t guilty of blowing up @immaculateinfat with pictures of pig foot now and again, but we definitely tried to not get sucked in by the hype. We hit The Breslin as much as possible before fully weighing in, which wasn’t an easy task. It’s obviously one of the tougher tables in town. Over the last month or two, we managed a solid Chronic Brunch hang with Hot 97’s Miss Info and Spin.com‘s Peter Gaston and a Dinner With The Parent’s move was manageable mid-week. The Breslin is definitely a better option for Weekday/After Work Drinks & Dinner than on the weekends, when you’re sure to hit crazy three hour waits.

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Let’s be honest, if you’re going to go to Gemma, you’re not going for the food, you’re going for the scene. If you’re looking to have an amazing romantic dinner with some of the best Italian food this city has to offer, keep looking (we strongly suggest Max in the East Village). However, if you’re looking to go out with a big group, celebrate a birthday, and have a really good time, this is perfect. The food isn’t terrible, it’s just not the main attraction here. We had a couple of solid dishes that were appropriately priced, and left happily full with no regrets. There are a lot of big spaces in the back which are set up perfectly for large parties. The place has a great vibe, an amazing drink menu, and is as lively as any place east of the Meat Packing district. After dinner, The Library Bar at the Bowery Hotel is a perfect spot for a drink, as is Von, an Immaculate Infatuation favorite on Bleecker and Bowery.

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New York Magazine recently wrote up The Standard Grill under the title “Above Standard”. Well, guess what, we’ve got higher standards than that. While we loved spending a few hours blowing up Twitter with live commentary from that ridiculous scene, the bottom line is that the food at The Standard Grill is bad. This review almost got tagged with “perfect for: wasting your time and money“, but the decent pork chop and constant parade of cougars and euros in and out of the place were worth a handful of points. The restaurant is massive, and includes a wrap around patio in front and a beer garden on the side, complete with ping-pong tables and picnic bench seating. Perfect for mixing it up with the business casual dudes that have since abandoned Brass Monkey. It seems the Standard Grill is the new place to see-and-be-seen, whether you’re a nightclub socialite, a recent Wisconsin grad, or a Real Housewife of New Jersey. I’m sure that the food is good enough to keep those types coming back, but we expect more, and if you’re reading this website, chances are you do too. It’s going to take more than a bowl of chocolate mousse and three spatulas (see the food rundown) to get us throwing around accolades. Go spend your hard earned dollars on something satisfying.

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