Immaculate Infatuation

Believe it or not, people used to live in Williamsburg because it was cheaper than Manhattan, not because it was cool. Before the hipster invasion began in the late 90’s, the South side belonged to the Hasidim and Peter Luger. Sure, there were always artists, musicians and .com hopefuls living there, but it was nothing like it is today. Hipster idealism has spread through Brooklyn like wildfire since then, and the outbreak isn’t contained within the borough. It’s become a nation-wide epidemic. Rappers in tight pants and fedoras. PBR on tap in Oklahoma. Meatheads in Ray-Bans and artists like MGMT and Grizzly Bear blasting from frat house speakers around the country. This is getting ridiculous and The ‘Burg is to blame. The initial source of the breakout? Diner. That’s right, one little restaurant that opened back on new years of 1998 started a domino effect felt around the USA. Didn’t you read The Tipping Point?

Diner has been a Williamsburg institution for a decade now. Originally built out of necessity by two friends in need of a place to eat, drink and hang out – it soon became not only their home base, but every other recent settler’s home as well. It’s like the hipster Plymouth Rock. As expected, Diner takes the form of, well, a diner. It’s basically a hole in the wall, and if it weren’t for the constant crowds, you’d probably wonder how a place that looks like this stays in business. Everyone inside is most definitely cooler than you, but they don’t think they’re better than you. Both the clientele and staff are friendly, and generally seem to be enjoying themselves. There are no hard copies of the menu, your server personally writes the daily specials by hand on your table.

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Oh Cafe Cortadito, how I love thee. You hit me right in my sweet spot with your Cuban flavored goodness. Honestly, if you like Cuban or Latin flavored food it’s pretty much impossible not to love this joint. Granted, when I went there for the first time, it was before they got their liquor license, so we went with a big group and took down like 6 bottles of wine while stuffing ourselves to the max on yuca frita, beef turnovers, skirt steak, and plantains. If we went now, we’d have to pay more for the wine obviously but that first time around left such a great taste in my mouth that I really don’t care. Plus, the wine is well priced. Make sure you get a table in the relatively small back room if you can. If you ever have a big party (like real big … twenty or so), you can rent the whole back room out and it’s a great place to have an intimate, fun dinner party. This is a great little restaurant that does Cuban food right. The price is right, the service is great and the food is very solid. I can’t wait to go back.

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We’ve been spending a lot more time in Brooklyn lately, and it’s not the indie music scene or girls in ironic glasses drawing us in (please god let that trend end soon). We know we aren’t exactly breaking any news by telling you there are outstanding restaurants all over the borough, but now that some ground has been covered in Manhattan, we’re ready to start expanding the Infatuation empire. It’s business time in BK.

Prime Meats has been on our list for a while now – we love Frankie’s Spuntino (owned by the same people), and we love meat. We also happen to be big fans of old timey things, and Prime Meats was meticulously designed to feel like it came from old timey New York. There’s a beautiful antique bar, the staff all look like extras from Gangs of New York, and you should know that, just like in the 1890’s, they only take cash. The menu is heavy and meat-centric, but most everything is incredible, especially the steaks and anything that sounds German, which is pretty much everything. Before you go, know that this is the kind of place you make a night of. You will likely wait a long while for your table, will likely drink far too many vintage cocktails, and will more than likely want to die from eating so much. As long as you plan accordingly, you should come away happy.

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If the day ever comes when I leave this city – voluntarily, by court order, or otherwise – my last meal in town might very well be a few margaritas, an order of plantains, and 1/4 kilo of pork tacos at Mercadito Cantina. The newest outpost of the Mercadito NY restaurants is all about tacos, and though the fish tacos have been the main focus of raves and praise for Mercadito Cantina, the pork offerings are not to be missed. Most everything on the menu is simple, well executed, and gives you that special kind of gratification you get from eating street food, yet the dishes are anything but pedestrian. The space has the feel of the Momofuku dining room … wood paneled, lively, and has a very similar seating layout. I have always had good luck getting a table on busy nights, and the staff is welcoming. Bring friends and come hungry … ordering the tacos by weight is definitely the way to go.

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I live in a world of go-to’s: go-to shirt, go-to playlist, go-to bar, go-to frozen-fruit flavor (banana and cream), go-to cereal (Honey Bunches of Oats). As far as restaurants are concerned, The Smith qualifies as just that. Its versatility is invaluable. It’s the kind of place you can go with your girlfriend, first date, parents, buddies, or boss and have an enjoyable meal. The food is consistent. There’s always a scene. It’s priced relatively well (I wish everything was five dollars cheaper, but that happens a lot). There’s a spacious and lively bar to hang at while you wait for your table and they don’t try and get too cute with the music. Phoenix into Bloc Party into The Bravery is fine by me at a more mainstream East Village eatery. Plus, any spot with a photo booth (downstairs near the bathrooms) knows what’s up. Note to all single guys: this place is always packed with wide-eyed chicks. It’s like they’re giving away Chanel bags with every glass of wine or something.

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