Immaculate Infatuation

Let’s be honest. White tablecloth fine dining establishments are not places that you will typically find the staff of immaculateinfatuation.com. We like things a little bit looser, a little bit dirtier, and a little bit more laid back. That said, every once in a while a man needs to throw on a pair of wrinkle-free Dockers and dine like a gentleman. Every once in a while, a man also gets a gift card to a restaurant for his birthday.

Whatever the motivation, on a recent weekday night, we found ourselves heading for an Immaculate Infatuation man date at Eleven Madison Park. It was clear from the start that this would not be a typical night out stuffing our faces with burgers and pork buns. The dinner menu at Eleven Madison Park consists of different prix fixe configurations, including an eleven course chef’s tasting menu. No, this would not be another night of casual eating. This night we were going to be tucking our napkins into our collars and doing things real fancy like.

Fancy though it may be, the restaurant is surprisingly lively, and the room wide open and airy – definitely not typical of a place serving this kind of food. Make no mistake, Eleven Madison Park is fine dining at its most serious. The staff is polite, yet rigid and focused like they’re on a mission from God. I think one of them folded my napkin with his mind. While the formality of the staff can be a little bit awkward at times, their knowledge and focus is appreciated when eating at this level. The food rundown will give you the details, but our meal at Eleven Madison Park was amazing. With a menu that sources many local ingredients via the Union Square Greenmarket, from start to finish, you get what you pay for and more. Save it for the right occasion. You won’t be disappointed.

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A Voce just received a Michelin Star which, in case you were wondering, is a huge deal in the restaurant world. A friend recently said to me, “one day, you will need to explain to me the connection between tires and good food.” I can do no such thing. What I can do is tell you that A Voce turns out some incredible Italian. It’s definitely fine dining, it will definitely hit you hard in the wallet, and it’s definitely full of suits from the New York Life building next door, but no matter – the food coming out of that kitchen is amazing. The vibe is upscale modern, and while we were blown away by the service and the food, the music is atrocious. Smooth jazz permeates the room and makes you suddenly feel like you’re eating ravioli in John Tesh’s living room. Someone needs to sort that out ASAP. We would be happy to make suggestions. Otherwise, A Voce is firing on all cylinders. Our waiter made excellent recommendations and from appetizer to entree, most everything on the menu is phenomenal. We recommend any and all of the homemade pastas, and the roasted trumpet mushroom appetizer is straight-up unbelievable. This is another one of those spots best saved for special occasions, or any time you feel the need to drop some chang on a serious meal.

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Marea definitely needs some good Infatuation press…they haven’t gotten much love lately. Makes you wonder if people around these parts have even heard of it. I mean, it’s only been awarded Best New Restaurant in America by the James Beard Foundation. While we haven’t yet logged enough hours on the road to make that kind of statement, we can definitely say that Chef Michael White makes some of the best pasta in New York City. That would be a bold statement if everyone on earth wasn’t also saying it.

Marea is one of those restaurants, like Eleven Madison Park, you walk into knowing damn well it’s going to be incredible. The food, especially the aforementioned pasta, is exquisite. A few of the dishes, including the lobster burrata, the fusili with octopus (and bone marrow), and the steak are among the best things we’ve eaten all year. Service is top notch as well – the staff know the menu inside and out, and they take excellent care of you. But for all that talk about pasta, it’s good to know this: Marea is a Quality Fish restaurant first, Italian restaurant second. To properly indulge, you’ve gotta be willing to strap on the scuba gear and eat whatever swims your way.

There are two ways to approach a Marea experience, and both are the tasting menu…it just depends on what time of day you want to eat like a baller. For lunch, the two course $42 tasting menu is a steal. That’s a better deal than what you find at most boring ass midtown business lunch destinations. Dinner is almost affordable at $89 a person for a four course tasting menu and a meal of this caliber. Ordering a la carte is always an option as well, but with such a deep menu, you’re going to be better served trying as many things as possible.

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On a recent weekend night, a disastrous attempt at having dinner at Landmarc in the Time Warner Center resulted in an impromptu visit to Bar Boulud. Let me set the scenario before I get into the Bar Boulud review. The Time Warner Center Landmarc is essentially New York City’s Rainforest Cafe…true mall dining at its finest. It was an absolute zoo, there were tables crammed into every square inch of available space, and the hosts and bartenders clearly hate their lives. I’m pretty sure they would have asked us to have dinner on the floor if the place got any busier. Needless to say, we closed out our bar tab and got the cuss out of there. Desperately looking for a civilized meal and a drink, we wandered over to Bar Boulud, sure that a Friday night walk-in would illicit some French snobbery. Surprisingly, they politely sent us to the bar for a quick glass of wine and we had a table within ten minutes.

Bar Boulud is Daniel Boulud’s “casual bistro”, but by Infatuation standards this is a fancy restaurant. It’s an older crowd, but a seemingly loose one as the restaurant feels upbeat and lively. The service is first class, but not the slightest bit stiff. As for the food, you’ll find a long list of pates and terrines, but otherwise, it’s a pretty straightforward bistro. Pay attention to the specials, and the fish selections are spectacular. Salads and starters are tasty, and the wine list is well priced and full of lesser known varietals that will have you taking notes and chasing down bottles online. What‘s the takeaway here? Don’t let the French formalities scare you off. Bar Boulud is fantastic.

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Should we have arrived on this earth centuries earlier, Immaculate Infatuation would have existed as an exclusive dining club instead of an internet circle jerk. Being added to the Infatuation telegram list back then would have been even cooler than being an “ambassador” at The Gates (that was a joke). Every suspenders wearing, pipe smokin’, handlebar mustache rockin’ 19th century hipster would have wanted in on our action. Our home base in this amazing, hypothetical world? Keens.

Keens is as Old New York as you can get. Open since 1885, this place is loaded with history. It’s pretty much the Museum of Natural Meat Eating History. Before it was open to the public, Keens was a members only hangout; a Soho House of sorts for NYC’s most powerful including Teddy Roosevelt and Babe Ruth. 115 years and counting, Keens is still home to one of this city’s best steaks. So good in fact, it’s in our top five NYC steakhouses along with Luger’s, Striphouse, Dylan Prime and Quality Meats.

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