Food Rundown:

Wood Roasted Oysters
Inconsistent in size and texture, but consistent in terms of flavor, these $18 roasted oysters with shallots and verjus (green juice) are no bargain. That being said, they’re worth ordering if you dig roasted oysters and your boss is picking up the bill.

Waldy’s Wood Oven Pizza
An excellent appetizer to share with the whole table, this huge pizza with mushrooms and onions is always a crowd pleaser.

Roasted Asparagus & Egg
White asparagus is all over menus right now, and usually pairing it with any kind of egg is a big win. Not at Beacon though, according to a friend/white asparagus expert we dined with on our most recent trip, both the asparagus and the egg were overcooked. That didn’t stop him from cleaning his plate, he just wanted it to be known he had higher expectations.

The Beacon Burger
A very solid burger and up there with the best restaurant burger you can get in Midtown. While it’s not making our Top 10 list anytime soon, we’ll certainly feel free to take one down when we’re in the neighborhood. At $19, this burger aint cheap, but it’ll fill you up; 8oz of black angus beef on an onion roll with grilled onions, lettuce and tomato. Enjoy.

Seared Tuna Niçoise Salad
A solid lunch option, I’m always fan of Nicoise salads done right, and this is just that.

Wood Roasted Salmon
Served atop a bed of watercress with horseradish sauce, sauteed red onions and cherry tomatoes (see twitpic), you really can’t go wrong with this dish.

Food Rundown:

Crostino
A trio of crostino with varying toppings each day. A safe bet if you’re looking for some finger foods while you drink. Eight dollars gets you three.

Buratta and Grilled Broccoli Rabe
It’s really hard not to like buratta, so it shouldn’t be a surprise that this is good.

Bucatini
Our favorite dish at ESSC. This is an excellent homemade pasta tossed with silver dollars of gooey mozzarella and big wedges of fresh tomato. Simple and slammin’.

Spaghetti
A respectable plate of spaghetti in red sauce with meatballs. This is obviously the dish that’s meant to sell the whole old-school Italian vibe, and it does the job OK…but I still don’t feel like I’m on Arthur Avenue.

Grilled Octopus
A pretty standard small plate of grilled octopus and fingerling potatoes. Skip it unless you’ve got an insatiable craving for tentacles.

Branzino
Again, a pretty standard piece of fish, but a serviceable option if you’re not in the mood for pasta or meatballs. By default, this is served with head and tail on, but they will remove them if you ask nicely. Honestly though, suck it up.

Tuna Burger
Last time we at here, it was about three hours after a lunchtime visit to Prime Burger. There was definitely a temptation to go back-to-back burger, but common sense stepped in. We ordered this tuna burger with a salad instead. You’re welcome, heart. Tuna burgers in general aren’t our thing, and as we expected, this didn’t do much for us. Maybe your vegaquarian friends will like it.

Photo Credit: Daniel Krieger

Marea is one of those restaurants, like Eleven Madison Park, you walk into knowing damn well it’s going to be incredible. The food, especially the aforementioned pasta, is exquisite. A few of the dishes, including the lobster burrata, the fusili with octopus (and bone marrow), and the steak are among the best things we’ve eaten all year. Service is top notch as well – the staff know the menu inside and out, and they take excellent care of you. But for all that talk about pasta, it’s good to know this: Marea is a Quality Fish restaurant first, Italian restaurant second. To properly indulge, you’ve gotta be willing to strap on the scuba gear and eat whatever swims your way.

There are two ways to approach a Marea experience, and both are the tasting menu…it just depends on what time of day you want to eat like a baller. For lunch, the two course $42 tasting menu is a steal. That’s a better deal than what you find at most boring ass midtown business lunch destinations. Dinner is almost affordable at $89 a person for a four course tasting menu and a meal of this caliber. Ordering a la carte is always an option as well, but with such a deep menu, you’re going to be better served trying as many things as possible.

Food Rundown:

Tonno
As a rule of thumb, if ordering a la carte, go heavy on the generous antipasti and pastas and easy on the overpriced crudo dishes. This crudo plate of raw big eye tuna with oyster crema and crispy artichokes is tasty and most definitely worthy of consideration, even if the portion is small.

Passer
A Long Island fluke crudo in lemon thyme and olive oil. A little boring somehow…I’d skip this next time.

Astice (crudo)
If you dig raw lobster this is for you – bite sized pieces of Nova Scotia lobster, sun dried tomatoes, olives, and plum. If you like your lobster cooked, go with the Astice off the antipasti menu, which is amazing.

Astice (antipasti)
This dish is incredible. I don’t even like cheese, but I loved this. Nova Scotia lobster, fresh burrata, eggplant and basil. A must order.

Polipo
This grilled octopus would be the best thing on the menu if it weren’t for so many other best things on the menu…like the pastas and the steak (see below). Served with smoked potatoes and pickled red onion, this creation is a perfectly crafted balance of beautiful flavors and presentation.

Moleche
Is there a better season than soft-shell crab season? Aside from football season, no. Check this guy out. He’s the man. A full semolina-dusted soft-shell crab with marinated cucumber, mandarin yogurt, and almonds. Yum.

Ferratini
As previously alluded to, the pastas at Marea, just like at White’s other excellent restaurants, Convivio and Alto are the star. This one is a penne like style pasta with manila clams, calamari and hot chilies. Spicy and delicious.

Fusilli
If you’re forced to decide on one pasta, this should be it. This shit is straight up dreamy. Fusili with red wine braised octopus and bone marrow. Ridiculous.

Spaghetti
Another mind numbing pasta concoction of fresh cut semolina pasta, crab, Santa Barbara sea urchin and basil. So good.

Spada
For the not-so-adventurous, feel free to roll with this grilled Hawaiian swordfish. It’s a little less exciting than the rest of the menu, but it’s a great piece of fish and will get the job done.

Capesantein
I’m not going to lie, the scallops were a bit disappointing. They were cooked perfectly and presented well, but there was something a little overbearing going on with the sauce. Not sure exactly what part of the pancetta, spring garlic, candied orange or brown butter sugo that threw me off, but something was funky.

Bistecca
Holy cow. This steak right here is incredible, and is the best single bite of meat I’ve eaten all year. A grilled Creekstone Farms sirloin that’s been dry aged for 50 days, and comes to your table with a delicious, marbelized bone marrow panzanella glaze. It’s worth all $49, almost a buck for every day of dry aging.

Food Rundown:

Raw Bar
A classic raw bar with oysters, clams, and some shrimp cocktail. A few drinks and some oysters at the bar are always a good idea, assuming you can actually get to it.

Maryland ‘Hand Picked’ Jumbo Lump Crab Cake
A solid crab cake that can be a nice starter for the table. In an era when pork buns and brussels sprouts seem to be on every menu, and old school appetizer is nice.

The Cadillac Burger
The gold standard at P.J. Clarkes, this is their burger with bacon and cheese. The bacon is cooked perfectly, as is the burger, and it’s tasty and satisfying, even if a little on the small side. They recently revamped this guy with a new meat grind and bun, which the jury is still out on for us. We fear change.

3 Mini Cheeseburgers w/ Bubble & Squeak
Just as tasty as the full size burger, and served with bubble and squeak, which is apparently not a cartoon rat family.

Lobster Roll
So much lobster roll talk lately. Unfortunately, we felt it our duty to weigh in on P.J. Clarke’s, which is somehow boring and a bit too chewy.

Fries
If you only come to P.J. Clarke’s to eat fries and drink, you’ll walk away happy. These are crispy, salty, and perfect, and should be on your table no matter what.

At Le Relais de Venise, there is only one thing on the menu. It’s a three course meal that costs $24 and consists of the following: salad, steak, and frites. Loyalists maintain that this is a fantastic deal for a really good steak – and waitresses in French maid outfits seem to always get a mention. In reality, this is mediocre steak smothered in “secret” sauce to compensate for the fact that it’s tough and chewy. Kind of like what McDonald’s does with the McRib. If you ask us, we’d rather spend $22.50 on the Steak au Poive and frites at Les Halles – better price, better steak, better fries.

Food Rundown:

Steak Dinner
This begins with a salad topped with walnuts and a mustard vinaigrette. Not bad at all, but let’s not throw points on the board for a pile of greens. Fries come out hot, and are crispy, salty and good. The steak is served sliced and covered in a secret brown sauce. It’s definitely not the worst meal you’ll ever eat, but like we said…you can do better for the money.

Instead of ripping apart another Accademia establishment (avoid like the plague), I figured we’d drop a little arial font on Docks lone surviving East Side establishment and the site of the Betty White/Jay-Z SNL after-party we went to a couple of weeks ago. Out of respect to family tradition and my Grandmother, who used to frequent the UWS Docks, I won’t rip it apart. I’ll also refrain from objectifying the rear end in this review, something Grandma tells me I do too much.

Docks is the furthest thing from a hip, happening restaurant. It’s packed with old people and the after work crowd. It serves a purpose for the average Grand Central commuter who isn’t baller enough to get into Cipriani, but still wants to spend big money on mediocre food. When dinner at The Cheesecake Factory is the norm, I guess Docks looks pretty good. If you find yourself in the area and hungry for a quick beer and some raw bar action, stick to the basics (oysters, clam chowder, grilled tuna) and you’ll be fine. Just don’t get ambitious and start pissing money away on steaks. We could think of a few better ways to drop forty bucks.

Photo Credit: Shanna Ravindra/Grub Street

Food Rundown:

Oysters
The last time we were here we had some of the worst oysters ever. Considering they were consumed at 3am, we’ll give Docks a pass on this one. Their raw bar is usually fresh and quite reliable.

Fried Calamari
Completely Inedible. Resist the temptation.

New England Clam Chowder
Docks has a very good clam chowder with a nice thick broth that’s loaded with clams. Definitely order this.

Sesame Crusted Yellowfin Tuna
A safe bet, which is the road we suggest taking. I’ve eaten this here plenty, and have never been overly impressed or overly disappointed. Generally, all the grilled fish options are solid, but unspectacular.

Lobster
Jane claims this is the greatest lobster ever. Then again, she says this about every lobster she eats, so that doesn’t give you much to go on. On our last visit, the chilled lobster was spot on…fresh, rich and delicious. Check out the twit pic .

Organic Scottish Salmon
Served with a Moroccan chickpea puree and crisp fennel salad, this salmon tastes exactly how you’d expect it to taste. Like salmon. Simple and generic. Next.

Seafood Cobb Salad
I’ve gotta put this in here because it’s Grandma’s favorite. She loves her mixture of lobster, crabmeat and shrimp salad. On a warm summer day, this can be a really nice treat.

Photo Credit: ny.eater.com

Food Rundown:

Kanpachi Usuzukuri
Amberjack sashimi with yuzu pepper. This is in the yellowtail family, and is ridiculously good. The yuzu adds a bit of a kick, and has a little citrus to it, which makes for a tasty appetizer.

Kani Sunomono
Blue crab rolls wrapped in cucumber and drenched in a ponzu sauce. We recently had a waiter highly recommend these, but they’re not all that. Tasty for sure, but save the dollars for something else.

Oxtail Fried Rice
This might be the greatest fried rice on earth. It’s a good sized serving of oxtail fried rice with an omelet on top. Inside the omelet? Bone marrow. An absolute must order.

Yaki Hama
Baked clams in miso butter. These are amazing, but you’ll wish that there were more than four on the plate, and you’ll wish they weren’t four bucks each.

Smoked Pork Belly Kushi Yaki
Like the fried rice, this is a good sized serving (rare for this place), and is another must order. Basically a pot of pulled pork served with rice and hot sauce. Get it.

Fried Chicken “Blue Ribbon Style”
Very similar to the signature Blue Ribbon Brasserie version, but with wasabi added to the honey. The chicken is perfect, and the honey has a strong wasabi kick that makes it even better. This is outrageously good.

Aldea pimps out their chef, George Mendes, New Orleans style. In NOLA, chef photos and accolades greet you at the front door and decorate restaurant walls, watching you eat. By the time your meal is finished, you know damn well that John Besh or Donald Link is the man that made it all possible. Aldea revolves its world around Mendes in a similar way. Our waiter must have dropped George’s name three or four times, and I guarantee he’s required to do that. It all feels a little desperate…if your food is that good, New Yorkers will recognize. No need to shove it in our faces. Despite all the name dropping, Aldea is a very comfortable eating environment. We lucked out and got the best seat in the house, the back booth right in front of the kitchen, which you should absolutely request when you’re making a reservation. Overall, we’re not saying Aldea is a bad restaurant, it just doesn’t live up to all the hype. We’ll go back sometime, we’re just not in any rush.

Food Rundown:

Jamon Iberico
Definitely some high quality ham, but for $21, it’s not worth the high price tag. Spend the money on something else.

Sea Urchin Toast
Ok. This was good. Really good. But it’s also incredibly rich. Chunks of sea urchin (which look like slices of mandarine oranges) sit on top of a thin toasted cracker-thing with cauliflower cream and sea lettuce. Pretty great.

Salt Cod Croquettas
Possibly the creamiest cod crox we’ve ever had. I personally enjoyed them, but the rest of the table was not feelin’ the ultra-smooth texture of these.

Wellfleet Oysters
Six Oysters, seventeen bucks. I mean, come on. That’s a bit much, especially when they suck. The oysters were quite disappointing, as was the pickled ramp mignonette. Next.

Slow-Poached Egg
This was excellent. A slow poached egg sitting in a light spring garlic broth with truffle, sweet peas and smoked bacon. Break the yolk and mix everything together for the ultimate bite.

Tilefish
Holy crap, this was gross. So bad that we actually sent it back to catch a little fire (the fish wasn’t cooked at all). It appeared that they plated and garnished the fish right out of the fridge, and this wasn’t supposed to be a sushi dish. When it came back cooked, it didn’t matter. This fish tasted like it’d been sitting around for weeks and the biggest travesty is that it came highly recommended from our waiter. Stay away from the tilefish.

Arroz De Pato
The dish Aldea is famous for, and pretty much the reason that we came. New York Magazine awarded it “Best Paella” and the Village Voice named it the Best Duck Dish of 2009. It’s definitely really good, but as with this entire restaurant, it just didn’t blow me (or the rest of my table), away. A paella of duck confit, chorizo, olive, and duck cracklings, the texture is fantastic, but the flavors are just a tad too overbearing.

Pork and Clams
Don’t let the name fool you, this really is just a pork belly dish. I thought we’d get a healthy dose of both belly and clams, but that wasn’t the case. There were maybe three clams on the plate, seemingly for decoration only. That being said, the thin strips of pork belly were quite savory and the sweet and sour glaze was really tasty.

To be honest, Sushi Seki is pretty great no matter when you go. Chef Seki is a Sushi of Gari alum, and the omakase is up there with some of the best you will find anywhere in town. As a matter of fact, everything on the menu is quite good, but going for spicy tuna rolls and some unagi is missing the point. It will still be tasty, but all the portions of sushi and sashimi are omasake size, and it’s still pricey. Service is good though, and you should leave happy. It feels strange to be rolling up to a restaurant in this neighborhood and finding anything other than bar nachos or bad Indian food. But sure enough, Sushi Seki is the real deal…a Second Dinner oasis in a neighborhood where we hardly ever eat First Dinner.

Food Rundown:

Omakase
Sit at the bar and put your meal in the sushi chef’s hands. It’s pricey as hell, but with a decent buzz and the right company, it’s undeniably worth it. You’ll get perfect bites of yellowtail with jalepeno, tuna with tofu sauce, tuna with garlic ginger sauce, salmon with blowtorched tomato skin, and who knows what else. Reach for the soy sauce and risk death by firing squad.

Shumai
A decent shrimp shumai, but not amazing. Spicier mustard and a better sauce to dip in would help.

A La Carte Sushi/Sashimi
If you’re not looking to get down omakase style, but are looking for high quality sushi in this area, you’ll get it by ordering individual pieces. Just know the dollars are going to add up, and you’re still getting one-biters.

Rolls
I actually like the spicy tuna a lot, and I’m not usually crazy about spicy tuna. Too often it just tastes like mushy chopped fish and mayo. This one is actually very good. The fish is light and the spicy sauce adds just enough kick and flavor but doesn’t overwhelm. Also good are the yellowtail scallion, seared salmon, and snow crab rolls. Word of warning: they are known to run out of some rolls, so don’t be surprised if you get rejected.

If you haven’t figured it out by now, we’re not fans of Sparks. Everything about the place feels stuffy and corporate, like eating at the only steakhouse within twenty miles of a major convention center. Despite the business casual rule, most everyone you’ll see is dressed in a boxy suit, looking ready to drop some dollars at the nearest strip club after dinner. And on top of all that, the steaks are a let down and the service is terrible. The one thing Sparks does have going for it? A famous mobster was murdered out front. Cool! (says everyone on the red double decker bus). We don’t know about you, but we’ll skip the gangster back story and eat a steak somewhere that doesn’t make us angry.

Food Rundown:

Prime Sirloin
This is the steak that Sparks is allegedly known for. It’s pretty much a strip steak, and most times we’ve had it, we’ve not been impressed. For some reason, i find myself chewing on Sparks steaks more than I should have to.

Filet Mignon
Expensive, unimpressive and overcooked last time we tried it. Another pass.

Lobsters
Every time I see the lobsters come out at Sparks, I think of Mr. Burns from the Simpsons. Maybe its the silver platter the lobster comes served on, or maybe it’s the 87 year old banker dude eating it. They’re good, but you should be getting your lobster fix somewhere cheaper and better.

Sides
Creamed spinach, mushroom caps, asparagus…there really isn’t much to say other than that these are your average steakhouse sides. Doesn’t really matter how good they are when the steaks aren’t up to snuff.