Immaculate Infatuation

There’s a difference between a local spot to grab a quick, convenient bowl of pasta, and pasta worth travelling for. That being said, we won’t disown our friends who live in the building upstairs and offered up Novita as a suggestion. God knows I’ve routinely eaten some slop over the years just because it was easy, but I wouldn’t recommend that slop to my friends. If you live in the neighborhood, Novita is a nice local hang with great service and reasonable food; we just wouldn’t recommend going out of your way for it.

We knew going in that Novita attracted an older, more sophisticated crowd, and as expected, we looked like preschoolers compared to the other clientele. While some of the food was certainly good enough, we were expecting more. The damage was $80 a head (with a couple glasses of wine each), unfinished plates of pasta, and six people in need of a bathroom immediately. Also, it doesn’t help their cause that BLT Prime sits in plain sight across the street. All I could think about the entire meal (except for how awesome it was when our waiter said “oct-ooo-pusss” in his amazing accent) were BLT’s holy popovers.

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With the hordes of tourists and Al Roker groupies, we’re not big fans of Rockefeller Plaza, and unless you’re still holding on to Olympic dreams and hitting the skating rink every morning, you probably aren’t either. However, there are times when you’re looking for an outdoor drink and some eats before a show at Radio City, and Brasserie Ruhlmann benefits from location and a sweet patio. Chef Laurent Tourondel (BLT Prime, etc.) is certainly well known around town, and for the most part his restaurants are good but expensive. Brasserie Ruhlmann definitely fits into the latter category. The former? Not so much. Overall, the food at Brasserie Ruhlmann is disappointing. There are a few gems on the appetizer menu (the truffle fries are awesome), but the majority of the food isn’t worth the hefty price tag. Not only are you going to drop dollars, but the staff sports an over-the-top French attitude like they’re practicing for a role in the Broadway adaptation of Ratatouille. From now on we’re walking the extra few blocks to Bar Americain.

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New York Magazine recently wrote up The Standard Grill under the title “Above Standard”. Well, guess what, we’ve got higher standards than that. While we loved spending a few hours blowing up Twitter with live commentary from that ridiculous scene, the bottom line is that the food at The Standard Grill is bad. This review almost got tagged with “perfect for: wasting your time and money“, but the decent pork chop and constant parade of cougars and euros in and out of the place were worth a handful of points. The restaurant is massive, and includes a wrap around patio in front and a beer garden on the side, complete with ping-pong tables and picnic bench seating. Perfect for mixing it up with the business casual dudes that have since abandoned Brass Monkey. It seems the Standard Grill is the new place to see-and-be-seen, whether you’re a nightclub socialite, a recent Wisconsin grad, or a Real Housewife of New Jersey. I’m sure that the food is good enough to keep those types coming back, but we expect more, and if you’re reading this website, chances are you do too. It’s going to take more than a bowl of chocolate mousse and three spatulas (see the food rundown) to get us throwing around accolades. Go spend your hard earned dollars on something satisfying.

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Docks former location on the Upper West Side used to be my family’s go-to Mother’s Day spot. Mostly out of convenience, but also because my little cousin Jane, who you met in the Cookies Across The City video, loves inhaling their lobster. We went again this year, only to find that a new Accademia Di Vino has taken over the space. Who gave that joint the go-ahead to breed?

Instead of ripping apart another Accademia establishment (avoid like the plague), I figured we’d drop a little arial font on Docks lone surviving East Side establishment and the site of the Betty White/Jay-Z SNL after-party we went to a couple of weeks ago. Out of respect to family tradition and my Grandmother, who used to frequent the UWS Docks, I won’t rip it apart. I’ll also refrain from objectifying the rear end in this review, something Grandma tells me I do too much.

Docks is the furthest thing from a hip, happening restaurant. It’s packed with old people and the after work crowd. It serves a purpose for the average Grand Central commuter who isn’t baller enough to get into Cipriani, but still wants to spend big money on mediocre food. When dinner at The Cheesecake Factory is the norm, I guess Docks looks pretty good. If you find yourself in the area and hungry for a quick beer and some raw bar action, stick to the basics (oysters, clam chowder, grilled tuna) and you’ll be fine. Just don’t get ambitious and start pissing money away on steaks. We could think of a few better ways to drop forty bucks.

Photo Credit: Shanna Ravindra/Grub Street

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Eh. This place is average at best. In a pinch, it can be useful for a group get together (6-8 people), but it’s overpriced, the food is mediocre, and the scene is not as cool as it once was. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a place I’ve frequented a bunch over the last 5 years, but I feel like it gets worse and worse each time and its time to jump ship. It’s an older, tightly wound crowd (hello suits and chicks wearing sweater vests over button downs?) The music is a bit too loud and their hip indie dance playlist of Hot Chip into Death From Above 1979 doesn’t necessarily fit their clientele, or at least it didn’t while I was there. It struck me as very odd. Yes, it’s a fun place with a good atmosphere. The layout is nice and they have some cool, comfy booths but my main issues are the price (it was over sixty dollars each per person, we didn’t even eat or drink that much) and most of the food we had just wasn’t amazing. And if we’re going to spend sixty bucks a head in NYC, we want amazing.

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